Mommy and Daddy

This is my mommy and daddy at Christmas. Aren't they cute! I put this picture here because I was checking to see if I could post pictures in this blog service, unlike my old one. :(

Oakland Expedition #4: Where Have All the Flowers Gone? Dressing for the East Bay

This area has one of the most ethnically diverse populations in the country. I didn't even notice; someone had to point it out to me. Why? Because everyone dresses the same; they all look the same. I will now teach you to dress for the East Bay.

To begin: Get a pair of black pants, a bit too short for you. If you don't have black, another earthy color will suffice, but black is really best.

Put on some sort of drab looking, plain shirt. No patterns. Color is okay, but the color has to be very muted and dull.

Add a scarf, tied around your neck in some fashion. This can be bold and colorful, but it's the only part of the outfit that can be.

Glasses are fine, but the rims must be plastic.

If you're in your mid-30s or older, your hair should be fairly short. An even cut, about 3" long should do. Kinda like this. No matter what length your hair, it should be down. Just shower and go. No styling allowed; it must be absolutely limp and boring. And by no means can you put any cute little barrettes or anything in it.

Avoid make-up.

Socks should be thick and fuzzy. Preferably grey, but some color is ok.

And now, for the shoes. Your shoes must meet three (3) requirements:

1. They must be extremely ergonomically correct, fix every foot problem you've ever had, and protect each bone, muscle and skin cell from the effects of walking.

2. You must swear they are the most comfortable thing you've ever worn.

3. They must be absolutely hideous. (these too)

That pretty much sums up women. Guys, same sorts of color schemes. Obviously no scarves. And for the below 25 crowd, sag your pants. Really, it's mostly so boring, I hardly even need mention the guys. One of my friends promised me that everyone out here had a little bit of thug in them. While I find it to certainly be true in his circle of friends, I am waiting to see it elsewhere.

I'd trade very nice looking for thug, but there isn't much of that either. I think I see maybe 6 guys in suits a day. That may sound like a lot, but I ride a very full Bart train through 2 downtown areas to get to work. I'm telling you, it's enough to make me miss the South. People there were always dressed nicely, even if they did have on those Uggly boots with their pretty dresses. And guys in suits are so sexy. This khaki and blah button down thing just doesn't cut it. Oh well, I at least refuse to lower my fashion integrity to this level. Long live heels!

(Original Post)

Bedroom

Indifferent

Comfortable - Lil' Wayne

Little Green Men and the Big World

Once upon a time, in the faraway Kingdom of Wisconsin, there lived two little troublemakers named Caitlin and, um... Susy, yeah, Susy. Caitlin and Susy lived in a special town where they could do everything together. They lived in the same building in this special town, and had rooms right across from each other. Both Susy and Caitlin traveled to other parts of the town and to a castle outside the town. At the castle outside of the town, Susy and Caitlin slaved away for an evil step-mother. They had to do the laundry, sweep the floors, prepare the morning meal, and all kinds of other chores. Back in the town, they listened to the town elders teach them about other far away places. Susy spent a lot of time with the elders, and Caitlin spent a lot of time at the castle, but they still had plenty of time to make trouble together.

When Caitlin and Susy did their chores at the castle, the evil step-mother gave them some paper. This was not any old paper, but a magical paper. It was so special that they could trade this magical paper for other things. Usually, the more magical papers they traded, the nicer the things they could get. But sometimes, they could make people think the paper was extra super special magical and they could get nice things for just a few sheets.

A few days a week, Caitlin and Susy went exploring into the neighboring city. It was much bigger than their special town. There was a special place they both liked to go, where they could get yummy fairy cream. They would travel into the city, go to the fairy queen's house, and tell her elves what kind of fairy cream they wanted. The elves would take one or two of those magical pieces of paper and poof! they would turn it into delicious fairy cream. Caitlin and Susy liked this fairy cream very much.

One day, on their way back to town from the fairy queen's house, they decided to stop at the market. Inside the market, they found the most wonderous thing, a little bag full of little green men. And they could get the little bag for just one piece of magical paper. How fun! Caitlin and Susy gave the market man a magical piece of paper and took the little green men back to town with them.

Once they returned home, Susy and Caitlin looked at their little green men and saw that they were not moving. But Susy and Caitlin were smart little girls. They knew that special little men like these don't move until the bigger people aren't watching. They wanted to help the little green men, and give them something to do. So, Caitlin and Susy took the bag of little green and men and gave them little homes all over the building. Some men moved into the bathrooms. Some men set up camp on top of the red teleporters in the hallways. Other men perched on top of doorways. A few men hid inside of little cabinets and crannies. When all the little green men had homes, Caitlin and Susy went off to find more trouble, confident they had made the little green men happy.

The other people in the building liked the little green men a lot. They helped the little green men move often. They wrote notes about the little green men on signs. They even told stories and laughed about the little green men watching them. Soon, many people were very fond of the little green men.

Caitlin and Susy wanted more people to share in the joy that the little green men brought, so they went looking for more. This time they found blue ones and green ones. They hid the little green and blue men all over the town. It was great fun!

As the years went by, other people started to find homes for little green men, and little blue men, and little grey men, and even little yellow men. More and more people found homes for more and more men. The little men could be seen in the town and in the city. People even heard stories of little men in very far off places like the Kingdom of Nebraska or the Kingdom of Tennessee. The little green men were so loved that even to this day, they still find homes in strange places. Why, just last week the postman brought this letter to Susy from her mother:

So - I put on my red gingham dress today - you know the one - the "tablecloth" dress - and I put my hands in my pockets...and guess what I found?!?!?

AN ARMY MAN!!!

Those little green men really like to get places. Susy even found one in her shoe. So next time you're feeling sad and blue, remember the little troublemakers whose story I told you. Trade a paper for a pile of the green and the blue, make someone smile, like I've made you.

(Original Post)

Bedroom

Giddy

That new Weezy!!!

A Living Legend, Just 5 Feet Away

I've been in the Bay Area for about 3 weeks now. That's it, and already this has been an amazing summer!

Evening was just beginning according to the clock, but the sun still shone brightly as I stood at the metal railing, two feet from the main stage. The show was scheduled to start at 6:30pm, but that didn't happen. The Harmony Festival closing ceremonies had gone on far longer than anyone not on stage desired. After the crowd finished exhaling to the east and "traveling down the planetary birth canal" (yes, that's a direct quote), the band could finally start setting up for the headlining act.

Check 1, 2. Boom, bang, bah boom. Check, check. A, A, Africa, A. Be dee dee dee, cha boom. The guitarist from Brazil rambled into the mike. The Ghanaian drummer pounded out beats on the bongos and congas. He pounded his fist on this big wooden ball attached to an amp, and the ground shook. Next to him a rock band style drum set waited for its Cameroonian percussionist.

Turning around, I discovered I could no longer see my friend relaxing on the grass a few yards behind me. People had returned to the area in front of the stage now that the festival founder (who bears a strange resemblance to one of my law school deans) and her cohorts had stopped entreating us to save the world through meditation.

Here I was, somewhere in California I hadn't heard of two weeks ago. Waiting in a field full of hippies, 5 and 65 alike dressed like fairies and lost in ecstasies of interpretive dance - the men and the women. I turned back to the stage, partly in excited anticipation, not wanting to miss the entrance, partly intrigued by the musicians and sound techs, and mostly to ignore the lunatics on every other side of me.

The clock on my phone now showed nearly half-past seven. The shadows had grown long, but dusk had not come yet. The scent of earthy herb wafted through the hot air. The announcer came back on stage in all her tree-hugging glory, clothing made of birch tree, feathers on her headband sticking straight up. But this time, I was glad to see her. She was there to introduce her, the one I came to see! A few blurbs about Grammy Awards, some gibberish about organic and then . . . .

There she was! One of the most amazing female singers out there, Angelique Kidjo! Older than I expected her to look, but still absolutely stunning. A burnt orange suit, multi-colored patterned shirt, and black boots with her dyed blonde hair setting it all off. Then, she opened her mouth and her looks, the outfit, everything, paled into comparison with her voice. If I had to rank, I'd put her only behind Maureen Lilanda in terms of vocal beauty. So talented, so gorgeous, and boy can she dance!

I have no idea how many songs she did. I didn't count, but I did recognize every one of them. I hadn't realized before that one of the songs was a Rolling Stones cover. She pointed that out. (I was wondering how the entire crowd knew the song.) Every person on that stage had a ton of energy. The conga drummer swung his dreads in circles; the guitar players seemed to put their soul into their playing; Angelique jumped around in circles. And then there was her dancer. In case anything else hadn't really reminded me of Africa yet. Shirt off, muscles gleaming in sweat. The towel tucked into the front of his jeans flapped as he snapped his hips forward. It reminded me of the dancing in Mr. Nice's First Lady video, or the dozens of men I'd seen in Zambia dancing with themselves in the mirror after too much chibuku, imitating the Congolese rumba dancers. It got quite a reaction out of the Americans who had never seen something like that (or at least acted like they hadn't.)

Later, Angelique invited the audience on stage. A young girl, maybe seven years old, joined the crowd and quickly took center stage, dancing like a miniature cross between Angelique's dancer and Shakira. Angelique at least feigned shock while the bongo drummer gave the girl a beat. After her, every feather and fairy-wing wearing weirdo had to have their chance to dance with the drummer. "Well, that's it, white people can't dance," I thought to myself. Then I corrected myself. "No, aging hippies can't dance." It got old real fast. At least the music was still great.

Angelique came back and did one last rousing song after clearing the stage. By the time she ended, the sun had set and the temperature had dropped sharply. An incredibly good show. Well worth the hour drive, the day in the sun, the ticket price, and yes, even worth spending an afternoon with the looney farm. I'm glad I went, because, as the feather lady reminded us, my being there meant one less person out on the streets with a gun that day. Yes, that's exactly what I would have done if I hadn't gone to Harmony Fest, shot people. More likely I'd want to do that after going to Harmony Fest. Oh well. Hooray for Angelique Kidjo! Mi Kwabo!

(Original Post)

Bedroom

Tired

Someone playing guitar upstairs

Oakland Expedition #3: Leaving for the City

As I finish my bowl of mushed graham crackers and milk, grab my plastic Popples lunchbox and head out the door, I could be headed to kindergarten. But, I'm not. I'm headed to work, for big people. I get to wear a suit, and heels and stockings. It's ok to wear nice clothes because there's no paste or paint to get all over myself.

I walk, but I don't walk all the way. I only walk a little bit. I have to cross busy streets by myself, but I hold my own hands so I'll be safe. Then I get on this big special train called Bart. Bart's really nice. He takes a lot of big people to their works. Sometimes, there are more big people than Bart has chairs for. Then the big people have to stand. Today, I had to stand for a long time. It was not fun. Bart is kinda like a groundhog. He can go above ground or through his special tunnels under ground. My work is on the other side of the water so Bart takes us under the water. He doesn't get wet because he's in one of his special tunnels. Bart likes to stay in his tunnels in the city because it is very crowded with buildings and more big people. That means I have to leave Bart way underground and go up very long stairs. Some days I take the escalator. When I get to the top, I walk some more. Don't worry Mommy, I still hold my hands at the busy streets.

My building is very big and very pretty. At the top is a big gold dome. It must be a special building. The whole building is made out of marble! The floors are marble, the walls are marble, the statues of people in the hallway are marble. Even the bathroom stalls are marble! The marble is shiny and white with gray lines. It is very beautiful. I feel bad walking on the pretty marble in my pointy heels. Inside there is a grand staircase even better than the one in Gone With the Wind. I like to pretend I'm a princess when I walk up and down it. Even though I have to go to the third floor, I don't like to take the elevator. Then I wouldn't get to be a pincess!

Work is strange. There are all these big people. Some of them get to wear suits, too. Some of them don't. The big boss people don't get to wear suits. I don't know why. Today, the biggest boss man only got to wear shorts with a white t-shirt and black socks like my grandpa wears pulled up high on the bottom of his legs. I know the guys, they don't get to wear high heels like me, but he didn't even get to wear shoes! I am glad I am not a big boss person so I can dress pretty.

The big people give me things to do. They must think I'm smart cuz they ask me to do hard things. It's ok. I like to pretend I'm smart. And, I like the books in the library. They are very big and some are old. They smell like my other grandpa's old house from when I used to play there. The books are kinda like puzzles, like the game my sister and I used to play where we hid little scraps of paper all over the house and each scrap had a hint on it to find the next scrap. Sometimes we messed up and Mommy found the scraps later. Mommy didn't enjoy the game as much as we did, I don't think...

Anyway, one of the big people gives me a paper. The paper usually tells me where to start. So I go to the library - it's on the other end of the building. I get to walk down the big marble hallway. It's so long! Like a whole block! When I get to the library, I find the page I need in the first book. It tells me to go to another page or another book. And then that one tells me to go to another, and then another. Sometimes I wind up with a whole stack of books and I don't remember which one says what. The library has this really nice woman in it who helps me when I'm stuck. Like my sister used to give me hints. But she is not as pretty as my sister.

The big people's game is a little different than my sister's and mine. There isn't a last paper in the gingerbread house. I just kinda have to decide when the game's over. Then, they have this extra part of the game that is really hard. I have to tell them what all the different pages and books said. Even though that part's hard, it's fun. That's when I get to play on the computer. I get to type, and play with the typing program. I get to move things around and make the words fat, like this, or crooked, like this, sometimes I get to underline them too, like this. Maybe some day I'll do them all at once!

Today I finished one of the games. I was very proud because the big person who gave me the first paper said the paper I gave her looked good. She used big words too. She said it looked "very thorough," and she said I did it fast. I was scared before because she had a time limit. I thought maybe I would have to go home before I finished. But the big people are nice. They let me cheat by starting before "go" and they don't make me stop to eat. I have a nice big gray cubby that's all mine. That's where I sit. Last time I had a cubby, it was littler and it didn't have pretty wood trim. And they wouldn't let me eat in it. Or color. These big people are much nicer.

So far, I have been at my new work 3 days. That's 3 peanut butter sandwiches, 3 pretty suits, 6 rides on Mr. Bart, and a lot of big books. My new work is fun. Maybe someday I'll be a big person too.

(Original Post)

Bedroom

Happy

Cookie Monster - "C" is for Cookie