Congratulations Lewin and new-Mrs. Lewin!

When all your friends have the same first name, you call by them by their last names. This works fine until they get married and suddenly there’s a new person in the group with the same last name.  And the new last name can’t really be called Mrs. last name because that’s the friend’s mom.  I’ll figure it out eventually .  In the meantime, big congratulations to one of my oldest and dearest friends and his new wife.

Bride and groom at the altar

Another beautiful Wisconsin wedding.  I think it even rivals Alfred’s in terms of perfection.   The ceremony was sweet, simple and short.  The bridal party was gigantic and stylish. (And I don’t mean gigantic in numbers; I mean gigantic in stature. There was an usher so tall he was nicknamed Tree, and he wasn’t the tallest person there.  Ah, Wisconsin.)  The reception was completely relaxed and everyone had a good time. The dance floor was never empty, even up to the last song at midnight.  And the DJ included the required wedding polka.

The Bridal party (for reference, the groom is 6’3”)

I loved the speeches, especially the one by the best man and the one by the groom’s sister.  Their speeches were completely different, each being very them, but both fabulous.  The bridal party’s grand entrance occurred sometime in the middle of the reception – which was nice from an I’m-hungry point of view – and they entered with silly glasses to Teach Me How to Dougie.  There was also a girls’ dance competition (for which I hid in the hallway) and a guys’ Carlton Dance Off.  The food was simple and delicious.

Cake cutting

The most entertaining part of the night happened after the reception had been going for some time.  The Best Man – who the groom and I have known more than 20 years since we all started playing trombone together in grade school – was sitting and talking with me and Mommy and Daddy and the Great Ecclestone.  We were lamenting the groom’s insistent attempts at match-making when a small blonde in a short dress bounced next to the Best Man. After confirming he was the person she was looking for, she jumped into his lap, “I heard you’re cute and single!”  Just as quickly, she bounded away to the dance floor.  We couldn’t hold our laughter.  The Best Man wasn’t long to follow to the dance floor.  What else could he do?

Mommy and the Best Man on the dance floor

Yes, it was a fabulous wedding and a very joyous day for all involved.  By the end of the night, the groom wanted to do it all again the next week because it was so much fun.

Congratulations Matt and Christy!

Wedding Rules

People say there’s a certain age that’s the “wedding period” of your life.  The time where you are invited to a wedding every couple of months.  I’ve been stuck in the “wedding period” so long it’s the same people getting married again. So I’ve had to make a rule:

If I came to your first wedding, I’m not coming to your second.

Now, if I missed your first wedding, say because you eloped or I was living on a different continent, then I’ll come to your second.  I think there’s only one close friend who still falls into that category, and I highly doubt he’ll ever have a second wedding.

Luckily, none of my friends are giving Scarlett a run for her money, so I haven’t had to contemplate any weddings beyond the second.

My friend, Caitlin at her second wedding. I missed her first.

I wonder if I’d have this rule if I still lived in Wisconsin, i.e. closer to the people getting remarried.  If it didn’t take all day to get somewhere (or two days for these Iowa weddings) and didn’t cost more than the set of bridal party dresses to go, would I double-up?  Probably.  One of my recently divorced friends is thinking about moving out to the Bay.  If she should happen to find a new husband and get married out here, I think I’d go, even though I went to the first one.

Maybe someday when my school loans are paid off and my income’s a little higher, I’ll come to extra weddings.  But for now, if I’d rather take that day and that small fortune and actually visit my friends when I can talk to them and hang out and spend time with them.  For the second wedding, I’ll send a card.

Congratulations Roger and Katie!

Katie and I met when we were ten years old.  As she tells it, we met at the park where I was jumping off the swings and landing on my head. She thought I was so crazy, she just had to meet me.  I don’t have any recollection of this, but I disagree. I was very good at swing-jumping and there’s no way I would have been landing on my head!

Either way, Katie and I met that summer before 5th grade and became fast friends. She’s been one of my best friends ever since. And while we’ve both had other best friends that have come and gone, Katie now has a new permanent best friend, her husband Roger.

Of course, everything about the wedding was beautiful. Though I have to admit, this trend of going to Iowa in April for weddings is getting a little old. It’s cold there folks!

I loved the men’s colors, orange vests and yellow ties with their black tuxes.  They matched my shoes! And Munchkinhead’s tequila sunrise.

Katie and Roger are both engineers, so there was lots of fun, hands-on stuff around at the reception.  Plastic wind-up robots that went gshzzz-gshzzz-gshzzz  as they wobbled across the white tablecloth linens, cardboard robot kits, even crayons and a coloring book. The coloring book had two robots on the front and then a whole bunch of blank pages. Munchkinhead and I had a great time filling the book with images of Katie and Roger as all sorts of things: fish, astronauts, beers, old people.

And of course, there was plenty of dancing.  Mommy and Daddy danced to their song.  Munchkinhead and I rocked out to Don’t Stop Believing, which is pretty much Munchkinhead and whoever’s around’s song.  We polka-ed, we funky chicken-ed, we YMCA’d.  The DJ even played the song Mommy and I dance to at every wedding.

My second-favorite part was when the lady sitting next to me turned to the bride’s mom and started talking about these shoes she saw at the ceremony that she really liked, “yellow with black polka-dots.”  “Hey, those are Munchkinhead’s!”

I also really liked seeing Katie and her family again; it’s been a few years.  But my favorite, absolute favorite part was seeing how happy Katie is and how much Roger adores her. 

Here’s to a long and happy life together for both of them!

Happy Anniversary Alfred and Nathy-Boo!

Today is Alfred and Nathy-Boo’s first anniversary. Since I didn’t post about their wedding a year ago, I figured this is a good occasion to do so.

The air was moist and warm, droplets of imagined rain clung to the ferns. Munchkinhead and I ducked under a banana tree leaf and giggled. Paradise. Nearly everywhere you turned there was lush green foliage or a burst of flowers. Hard to believe it was 40 and rainy outside. No, we weren’t in a jungle. Munchkinhead and I were just pretending we were in a jungle. Where we really were was the rehearsal for Alfred and Nathy-Boo’s wedding.

A truly exotic location, Des Moines, Iowa.

I’ve been to quite a number of weddings over the years and I have to say that this one was by far the best wedding I’ve attended.  It was well-organized, beautiful, economically, delightfully representative of the bride and groom, tons of fun and just over all amazing.  And I’m not just saying that because it was my sister’s.  Alfred knows I’d tell her if I thought she could have done better.
Alfred did pretty much all of the planning herself. The venue was delightful: the Des Moines Botanical Center.  A beautiful glass dome arcing high above succulent gardens with a small stream where colorful fish flipped their tales. Banana tree leaves and spindly flowers waved in the breezes created by people walking down the cobblestoned paths.  The moist, warm air inside hid any indication of the cold April gloom covering the outside world.  Why fill a church with expensive flowers when you can have the convenience of an indoor garden?

Alfred’s dress was, of course, absolutely beautiful.  A simple woman of logic and practicality, she is nothing of the diva that her two sisters are. Her dress showed this perfectly, classic, yet elegant, with just a touch of sparkle in the purple embroidered flowers at the bottom of the white satin.  Being as cold-blooded as the rest of her clan, she has had a matching bolero for the reception.
Her bridesmaids dresses also exemplified an important part of her nature, her consideration for others. Knowing that the fairer sex is prone to fluctuations in body size and shape, and having her bridesmaids coming from across the country, Alfred chose an adjustable option for the dresses. Purple satin corsets with matching long skirts.  Of course, Mommy made all the dresses, her own, the bridesmaids and Alfred’s.

Standing at the front of the garden with the other bridesmaids, I couldn’t help but tear up. Not only did Alfred look so beautiful and happy, but Daddy was tearing up next to her. How could anyone not get misty eyed seeing that?

The ceremony was short and sweet, presided over by the pastor from our home church in Milwaukee who came all the way to Iowa on Easter weekend just to marry Alfred and Nathy-Boo. And then the bride and groom walked together down the aisle to music from Star Wars. Geeks.

And then the real fun began, the reception. Every person had a gift to take home with them, lovely nameplates cross-stitched by the bride herself.  Alfred and Nathy-Boo also made all the centerpieces for the dinner tables, out of Legos! No one can tell me they’ve had better center pieces.  The small cake above the mountains of cupcakes was also Lego-themed, with a small corner of icing peeled back to revel bricks beneath  and a Lego bride and groom up top.
The cupcakes provided lots of amusement throughout the night as the cake part, and the fillings inside were quite delicious, but the frosting was a bit too much for anyone. Tables were covered with mounds of frosted peaks carefully removed from little cakes. Mugs overflowed with the pastel swirls, looking like fancy lattes.  One of our aunts had close to a dozen cupcakes and left a fine frosting display around her table place.

Alfred and Nathy-Boo’s music was perfect. All their favorites. I don’t think the dance floor was empty the entire night.  A ridiculous line formed across the middle for the “Time Warp”.  Munchkinhead and I waltzed to Metallica and danced with Daddy to the family theme song. Mommy and Daddy danced to their song. Alfred and I played air piano to “November Rain.” And we all polkaed.

It was a fabulous night. Wonderful to see so many family members and old friends and an absolute blessing to see Alfred and Nathy-Boo so happy. Congratulations on a fantastic wedding and on your anniversary!

Photo by Jill Brown

3 Weddings and a Funeral (or My Summer Trips to Wisconsin)

It’s been a very busy summer for me.  I’ve covered enough miles in the air to have flown to Nigeria in back, but I only went to Milwaukee!

I’ve tried 4 different airlines (AirTran’s at the top of my list so far; sorry Midwest, they fly direct), gone through 5 different airports, and spent 4 wonderful Saturdays in the best place on earth.

All the trips were good, even the unexpected one for my grandpa’s funeral, but by far my favorite was my parents’ giant vow renewal party.  (Ok, technically, that’s not a ‘wedding’, but it’s close enough.)  Mommy and Daddy had a very full house, even before the party started.  All three of their daughters and all three of their daughters’ special friends.  So much fun!  (Photo © dtrizzle.)

Happy tears (Daddy), good friends (yay for Beaker and the Great Ecclestone sticking around late into the night), fun games (Twister!) and plenty of swimming.  Oh, and can’t forget all the yummy cheese!

 

The real weddings were great fun, too, especially since Mommy was at both of them.  Most recently, the whole family headed “up north” (actually about an hour west of Milwaukee, but anything that’s not Milwaukee or on the way to Chicago is “up north” to me) for a Schram wedding.  The last in their family, Mikey, was getting married.  The wedding was supposed to be outside.  Of course, that was the one day like all summer it rained.  Oh well, the inside ceremony was still really nice. 

The DJ’s didn’t play any polka, but it wasn’t the bride and groom’s fault.  They requested polka.  Munchkinhead tried too.  Knowing how much Mikey likes Weird Al, she tried requesting a Weird Al polka song – he has plenty.  It took two trips to the DJs.  At the end of a conversation, one of the DJs said, “Ok, whatever you like.”  Munchkinhead thought the DJ was finally going to play the polka she requested.  Well, not quite.  The DJ played the Weird Al version of T.I.’s “Whatever You Like!”

Despite the missing polka and the reception not being in a bowling alley it was still great fun.  The best part was seeing our old friends that we hadn’t seen in awhile (including the groom).  (Daddy Bunny, Gibby and Timmy Bear were happy to see each other, too.)  And of course dancing with Mommy – we found something to polka to – and Munchkinhead.  Munchkinhead and I were minuet-ing to “Turn My Swag On” until the DJs cut the song off in the middle.  I think that may have had something to d with us being the only two people left on the dance floor, and the only reason we were out there is because one of the groom’s great-aunts told Munchkinhead to go dance with me.  (She hates Souljaboytellem.)

Now at Mel’s wedding there was polka, and not just the “Beer Barrell Polka” and “the Chicken Dance.”  The best part was the middle of the polkaing, when the DJ yelled out, “alright all you -skis!”  (If you don’t understand that, you’re not Polish enough.  I’m sorry.  Maybe in your next life you’ll have better luck.)  The DJ also played a song with Snoop Dogg in it so Mommy and I could have our traditional dance-to-a-Snoop-Dogg-song dance, even though Mommy hates hip hop.  (You can’t tell in that picture up there, but the bride and groom are both giants!  He’s like 6’7”.)

  Mel’s wedding was a little strange for me because it was a whole bunch of people I hadn’t seen in about 6 years.  I felt like I was way past that point in my life and that it was all so different back then than it is now.  So it took a little while to adjust, but not too long.  And you know what, those girls are just as spectacular as they were six years ago.  Maybe even a bit more so – Lupe’s husband just completes her so well that between the two of them I was nearly always in stitches.  It was exciting to finally meet him! 

Other great parts of our old Second Steele crew were there too, Little, Ang and her husband, and a little green army man (on the bride & groom’s present, hee hee.)  Caitlin was there in spirit, especially when the DJ played “California Love;” no one can shake it like Caitlin (Little tried; it didn’t quite work.)

Oh! And one other amazing part of the night, Mel did “the Rooster Song!”  I love the Rooster Song!

Show Us What's Inside Church #3!

It's sort of funny how something that wouldn't feel comfortable or wouldn't be ok at home is suddenly great when it's the most familiar option.

Three Sundays in Abuja, three different churches.  First it was Winner's Church with one of the girls; then it was a Catholic church with the other girl.  Today was with my new family, and had the preacher not been constantly thanking the Lord for "our country Nigeria," I wouldn't have known I was in Africa.  It was just like any praise church I've been to in the United States.

The Church
Outside the building, ushers in orange vests directed traffic into marked parking spaces in a real parking lot, with asphalt, medians and trees.  When that lot was full, the cars went to the dirt over-flow lot behind the church, and when that lot was full, they parked on the soccer field.

Inside, the building looked nothing like other African buildings.  The walls were wood paneled, not cement.  The floor was carpeted, not cement.  The chairs were those cushioned metal chairs that can be hooked together on the sides or stacked easily out of the way.  The sanctuary had a balcony with a railing.  The pulpit and band were on a raised stage.

The Service
The choir consisted of about 9 people, 8 of whom lined up at microphones behind the lead singer.  The words to the hymns shown on the big screen overhead.  Electric guitars, a keyboard and a drum set accompanied the choir.  The preacher told people what scriptures he was going to read, and everyone pulled out their Bibles to follow along.

Normally, I don't really like praises churches.  I prefer old fashioned hymns to the new-fangled repeat-two-lines-for-three-minutes songs.  I like organs, not electric guitars and drums in church.  But today, today I really liked the praise church.  It was familiar; it felt like home.  Nobody encouraged me to give to money to God so I could have a baby, nobody tried to sell me candles or brochures or anything else before the end of the service (like they did at the Catholic church).  I didn't have to put oil on my head; I didn't feel extremely awkward for not having a scarf on my head (Catholic church again).  It was nice.

The Sermon
The sermon today was about the coming of the end of the world.  And what did the preacher point to?  The hurricanes, floods, famines, other natural disasters?  No.  California.  California and the same sex marriage law.  "I remember," he says, "I remember when California passed their same sex marriage law.  I remember reading about it on the internet."  You remember?!  Reading it on the internet!?  I was there!  I had to chuckle just a little bit.  But then the preacher started explaining how he read a comment from someone who said they were Christian and thought the new couples should be left alone to do what they feel is right.  This was a prime example of the failing morality prophesied for the end of time, a perfect example of people who will call themselves Christian but go to Hell anyway.  He urged everyone to do their duty as Christians and post their own comments on the internet.

Now can someone please explain this to me:  The Old Testament says men should not lie with other men.  But it also says not to eat pigs.  So why is one ok and the other not?  People say, 'well Jesus came and just changed the rules so that you just don't do what is bad for you.  Eating pig is not bad, but homosexuality is.'  Why?  And what happened to not judging others?  (Incidentally, there are other rules in the same section of the Bible that most Christians (and churches) would consider archaic health concerns.)

Same Same, but Different
As different as the three churches I've attended were, they all had some things in common.  Every one of them had three services.  Every one of them was in a large, and nearly full building.  And everyone of them involved some sort of pushing and shoving through crowds either to enter, leave or both.  People here go to church, it's a given.  (And I'm including mosque in that term.)  No one asks "do you go to church?"  They just ask, "which church do you go?"  Any answer is ok, as long as you're going somewhere.

5:01 PM

June 16, 5:01 pm. It's history now, in every sense of the word. As of 5:01 today, same-sex marriages are legal in California. Where was I at 5:01 pm? San Francisco City Hall. Where was everyone else? San Francisco City Hall.

Well, ok, not everyone, but a lot of people. They were there to celebrate, to watch, to shout at those celebrating. I was trying to leave. I ran into one of the attorneys from our office attempting to get off the 3rd floor. "Trying to get the best view?" "Nope, I'm trying to leave." A security guard pointed me down the little stairs. I heard a loud cheer from somewhere, "must be 5:01," I thought. As Mayor Newsom started the only ceremony of the night, I snuck down the side stairs. I was surprised by how empty the front security area was. One or two people were going through the metal detectors. I thought there'd be lines of people wanting to get inside. Then I looked at the doors.

Outside, covering the entire sidewalk span out front and stretching back through the park across the street there was a huge crowd. Directly in front of City Hall's steps, front and center, stood a group of people come for reasons other than celebrating. Their jeers and large signs proclaimed that clearly Jesus only meant to love some of your neighbors. To either side of them, a few supporters of the day yelled back. But the majority of the people outside were just celebrating. "This is the way out?" I asked another security guard. "Yup. You can try to squeeze down on the side there." And so, I headed out the big glass doors.

People were generally obliging and tried to let me through. It probably helped that they could see I wasn't trying to get closer. But I still had to navigate narrow paths while carrying my bag, purse and puff coat (it had been very cold in the morning). I saw what I thought was an opening and stepped into it. Whoops! That wasn't an opening. That was the spot for the trombone player's slide from the band that had just started playing The Wedding March. Video cameras, digital cameras and tv cameras every-which-way. Bouquets, couples holding hands, and rainbow flags hanging from all the light-posts filled the city and announced to everyone the historic moment.

Finally, I made my way to the curb and saw as my only outlet, the bike lane in the street. As I stepped off I heard a voice "stay on the sidewalk, sir." I found this a bit odd since I clearly wasn't a sir. (Although at a celebration of gay marriages, it's possible a sir would be there in a pink sweater, skirt, seamed stockings and 5" stilettos.) I stepped back onto the curb, assuming the voice meant me anyway, and turned back. There was a police man working to keep the crowds out of the main street in front of City Hall. But I had no way out without going into the street. I stepped off the curb once more, and again, "sir stay on the sidewalk." I looked back and saw that a man had stepped into the street. I kept going. After passing 3 or 4 news vans, I could see the sidewalk was clear and got out of the bike lane. As I reached the end of the block, the crowd erupted into a rousing rendition of "Going to the Chapel." Oddly, it reminded me of my little sister when she was 5.

To the octagerians in the Mayor's office, this was a momentous occasion, a day that many thought would never come. To me, it was just a zoo at city hall. Maybe it's my optimistic outlook, maybe it's the things my generation has seen, but I don't think this is a big deal. I expect things to happen eventually. The Cold War ended, the Berlin Wall came down! Yeah, and? We've eradicated small pox. Yeah, and? Same sex couples can marry! Yeah, and? I always think, "it's going to happen; it's just a matter of time."

(Original Post)

Bed

Exhausted

Extravaganza - Jamie Foxx and Kanye West