Saturday, December 27, 2003

Thursday, December 25, 2003

Merry Christmas

It's Christmas morning :)
Our family likes to get creative with out labels on the presents; here's a sampling of this year's tags.

To: The one who needs a college fund (you get what is inside the box)
From: The one who is spending hers (I keep the box)
To Katrina, From Wendy

To: The Headbanger
From: The other metal lovers
To Wendy, From Katrina and me

To: Munchkin head
From: The one who wants her fashion princess back
To Katrina, From me

To: The old man with grey hair and high blood pressure
From: One who helped give him the grey hair and high blood pressure
To Daddy, From me

To: The Rebel with Permission
From: I'm watching you
To Katrina, From me

To: The Lovebirds
From: Your Eldest (open after Santa's presents)
To Mommy and Daddy, From me, Cabaret on Dvd - it was the movie they saw on their first date (Santa brought a Dvd player)

To: One of the lightest Zambians
From: Guess who
To: me, From Mommy

To: Mommy Crazy
From: The Youngest (gonna be taller than you some day)
To Mommy, from Katrina

To: The one I wanted to play with
From: I'm sorry I ate your homework (P.S. Now you can make Nathan play)
To Wendy, From me

To: The newly skinny Daddy
From: The youngest skinny
To Daddy, From Katrina

To: The Shoe Queen
From: Her shoeless mother
To: me, From Mommy

To: Color your life or keep it black and white
From: Old and senile Dr. Seuss
To: Wendy, From Mommy

To: If you give a Mommy a great daughter, she'll want two more...
From: The not-so-little stinker
To Mommy, From me

To: Tim
From: Your Kentucky relatives
To Daddy, From Auntie Jamie and Uncle Jim

To: Tim
From: To Righties
To Daddy, from Auntie Jamie and Uncle Jim

To: The little Digger
From: "At my old school we were never allowed to get caught in floods. Hey look! It's Jesus!"
To Wendy, From me (there was a partridge in a pear tree on the card, Jesus in the 12 days of Christmas)

To: One Freak (smiley face)
From: Another freak (smiley face with fangs)
To Wendy, From Katrina

To Mommy, From Daddy, he said there wasn't anything he could on the tag that would be appropriate to read in front of the children

To: Too bad you can't find this to hug there
From: The funny and annoying one
To me, From Katrina

To: The one with the numbers
From: The one without
To Mommy, from Katrina

To: The spa lovers
From: the reluctant liquor donor
To Mommy and Daddy, From me

To: Katrina Poo Who
From: Rail Roo Who
To Katrina, From me

To: Honey
From: Ham
To Mommy, From Daddy

To: The nicest lawyer we know - thanks for the lawyering
From: Jamie and Jim
To Daddy, From Auntie Jamie and Uncle Jim

These make more sense when you see the presents they go with, but I didn't want to cheat anyone out of sharing what they got with their friends, so I will add the gifts in later. Merry Christmas all!

(Original Post)


Monday, December 22, 2003

The Integral of TheTwelve Days of Christmas

Ok, so here's the background on this one:

The church play this year was about the origins of The 12 Days of Christmas. They sang a version using the things the song represents, i.e 11 faithful apostles instead of lords a leaping. Our family also has several other versions on tape and cd at home, 5 onion rings, a japanese transistor radio, a beer in a tree.. you get the idea. On the way home from the Rockettes, The 12 Days of Christmas was on the radio and we all started singing along but different versions, so Wendy said, "I wonder how many different versions you could fit in one song."

At first I suggested 12! (factorial) but soon realized this was wrong as that is multiplication. "There must be some term for adding everything instead of multiplying," I said to Wendy. Wendy pondered a bit, "Yeah, sigma." "Oh, yeah, summation!" I exclaimed, "Then we should be able to do an integral!" So Wendy and I brain-stormed and discussed and decided we wanted to use the interval from 1 to 12, being that there are 12 days in the song. So, we had to devise the correct equation for the line representing the song. We knew the slope had to be 1 as we were dealing with whole numbers and for each new verse goes up one (i.e. 2 calling birds to 3 french hens). So first we tried y=x from 1-12, that did not work, so we played around until we found the correct equation.

Ladies and gentleman the integral for The Twelve Days of Christmas is: The integral from 1 to 12 of x+2. S(x+2)dx from 1 - 12. And there are 71 total possible things to sing about!

(Then we just had to explain to Katrina what on earth we were doing!)

(Original Post)


Sunday, December 21, 2003


Things that almost made me cry today:

The church sanctuary all decorated, the white lights on the little trees, the advent candles lit, the sunlight coming through the stain-ed glass and back-lighting the manger scenes, the very full pews, the choir and the orchestra, Nelson's mommy's voice during the hymns, everything was so warm and loving and Christmasey.

The little boy sitting in front of us, who, when his not-much-littler sister came back from children's message, pulled her on his lap, squeezed her and gave her a kiss on the back of the neck. It was so cute and sweet and adorable.

The same little boy who, during the joys and concerns, simply said, "My friend's mom is dying."

The children's choir singing Silent Night, even if they sang the 1st verse three times in a row.

Mommy whiping tears from her eyes.

Pastor Rick talking about the 25 million aids orphans that will be living in Africa by 2010.

The reading from Luke 1 about Elizabeth's womb leaping for joy when she finds out Mary is pregnant. It was mentioned 2 weeks ago in Sunday school.

Singing Christmas songs in the car with the fam.

Hugging Buddy.

(Original Post)



Bits of nostalgia from my day today, the things I love and will miss about home.

We decorated the Christmas tree today; I hung my silver ballerina on it first, just like always.

Mommy read us Little Black Sambo at lunch, one of my favorite childhood books. She even used different voices for Little Black Sambo and the Tigers and Black Mambo and Black Jumbo. (Not taking that one to Africa)

Daddy and Katrina and I sang White Rabbit. (the others weren't around)

Katrina took out the canvas choo choo Christmas decoration and transported army men to the lego village she was building for them.

Daddy made a fire and watched football.

Dinner conversation about those "slow" Lutherans and the dinosaurs dieing in Noah's flood. What's wrong with Katrina's comment?: 'But if the dinosaurs did exist then wouldn't they be mentioned in the Bible. Like wouldn't it say the people were running from the dinosaurs or "and then a dinosaur came along and ate Jesus?"'

Mommy, Wendy and Katrina decided that the tinsel on the tree is like the icicles on trees outside and the lights are like the squirrels that are on fire. (The ornaments are frosting)

Someone mentioned fire at dinner, which caused choruses of We Didn't Start the Fire, Our House, and Norwegian Wood.

We sang O Telly on the Mountain. I still want to know what Telly is doing on the mountain anyway, and is Big Bird with him?

Mommy tied my shoe for me about 4 times; I could not get that sucker to stay tied.

We all laughed a lot.

Just a normal day in the Schultz household.

(Original Post)


Friday, December 19, 2003

Dinner as Usual

A Dinner Story
We went out to dinner tonight, the whole family. Here are some random pieces of conversation:

Wendy: God,....
Me: Job. Oops! I mean goodness

Mommy: Did you see that when you were living?
(Yes Emily, even when you aren't around we can pick on you)

Katrina: (singing) I put my teeth back in, I have teeth again (notices we are all staring at her), I'm done.

Me: Put the hat over your face, put it right back in place
W: Tilt the hat foreword
K: Tilt the hat back
Me, K & W: Move the hat up and down up down up and down, now you're set to go to town
Me: A looking good
M: a 2, 3 4

W: My friend, Lis's mother is goddess of the universe and when she retires Lis will be the goddess. So Nathan asked to be ruler of the world and she said ok. But, he wants to kill the Texans and the French. So Melissa and I convinced them that she gets Venus and we get to move all the Texans and French there. And he hates pro-football players so I get them on Mars.
Me: Wait, wait, when do you get Mars, what are you going to do there?
Daddy: She'll be the first paleontologist on Mars
W: Yeah, i'm gonna do my expeditions there. I don't really get it, I'm just the guardian.
Me: What pro-football players going to do on Mars?
W: (quite serious and as though I asked a stupid question) Play football on Sundays
Me: (exasperated)Of course!
M: Duh
K: But the days are different because Mars is closer to the sun

Again singing the hat song,
Me: Wave the hat up high, trade it with the next guy
Mommy took Katrina's visor and put it on her head and proceeded to follow the directions
Me: Put the hat over your face, put it right back in place,.......wave the hat up high, trade it with the next guy
Mommy put hat on my head, I put it back on Mommy's, Mommy put it on Katrina's
Daddy: Wait, put that back on it makes you look sexy like your glasses do
K: (freaking out) Ewwww, ewwww, my hat, my hat
Me: Yeah, well it's our shower! (strange looks from everyone) Nevermind

W: You have to help me take Nathan to Leon's, I don't care if we have to bind and gag him
Me: Can we tie him to the roof of the car?
W: No
Me: Like a Christmas Tree, and paint him green (weird look from mom) If we paint him green it will be less conspicuous cuz he'll look like a tree

Me: (Wendy forgot to ask for her meal w/o mushrooms) That's just like how Kathleen always forgets to ask for no tomato on her salad
D: Tomatos are good for you
Me: No they're poisonous. Gram, watch out a poiiiiisonous fruit!

W: Nathan doesn't like Chip's Challenge
Me: How can he not like Chip's Challenge?
K: That's it, he can't be a member of this family

W: I'm only part vampire
Me: Since when are you part vampire?
W: I tell Nathan I'm part vampire everytime I bite his neck
Me: I'm closing my ears
K: I'm the only full-vampire, and Mommy's half vampire so then if Mommy and Wendy are half-vampires, and I'm full...(she stopped)

"Room temperature Wooley Mammoth"
"I'm done"

And to top it all off, a list of all the people mentioned during dinner (I think):
Nathan, Melissa, Lis, Justin, Mike, Joel, Dan, The Trusses, Pat, Kathleen, Emily, Santa, Oprah, Bush, Clinton, Sadam, Joan of Arcadia, Mrs. Lewin, Amanda, Whoopi Goldberg,....

(Original Post)


Hat Hat

A General Story

For all those out there who didn't believe what I said at the end of the last entry, "plhhhhhh".
Wendy came home last night, Katrina and I collaborated and got the tape player ready! Before you could say the Gettysburg Address (it took awhile to rewind the tape), it was "listen to the water"!

It was soooo much fun. However, when we were little, I don't recall hitting my head on trombones or crashing into Christmas trees. Somehow, we fit better in the living room when we were shorter. But it was still great fun. (And the ducks and the flowers are actually the last 2 verses, the 1st two are birds and fish).

Then we played the rest of the tape, great songs like "Hat Hat" and "Mr. Computerman." "Hat Hat was extra fun. Wendy and I had Katrina's visors and Katrina had a baseball hat that said Corona. The song is great interactive fun: Put the hat on your head, spin it around that's what I said, hat hat, hat hat. Tilt the hat foreword, tilt the hat back, move the hat up and down up and down up and down, now you're set to go to town, a lookin good 2 3 4.

Throughout our fun dancing and playing, Mommy sat upstairs sewing, and smiling.
Hee Hee! These next few weeks are going to be filled so many fun activities!

(Original Post)


Thursday, December 18, 2003

Listen to the Water

A General Story

Every family (I hope) has their favorite songs growing up; songs that the
children loved and way overplayed that parents quietly sing under there
breath at the dinner table (ok, maybe that is just my family, but anyway).

Recently Mommy, Katrina and I went searching for the corresponding tape for
one of these songs. We all had it so stuck in our heads that I even im'd
Wendy with a line from it. (To which she promptly responded with the next
line of the song.) Great joy! Great joy! Mommy found the little brown
tape with the yellow label, and whether Wendy knows it or not, when she
gets home, we are going to sing and play along with that song just as we
always did. It's great fun! Here are the words and accompanying movements
to the best of my memory:

"Listen to the Water"

(chorus)Listen to the water, listen to the water, rolling down the river
(roll on ground up and down the room, with lots of people, this looks like
logs on the river)
Listen to the water, listen to the water, rolling down the river

We saw some ducks by the water-side, Quack Quack (waddle like ducks,
flapping "wings" on quack quack)
We saw some ducks by the water-side, Quack Quack
We saw some ducks by the water-side, Quack Quack, oh oh by the water-side, oh
oh by the water-side.

(chorus) (don't forget to roll)

[I don't remember what we see next, sorry]


We saw some flowers by the water-side *big sigh* (Stand up, arms over head
so you're a flower, and take a big sniff on the big sigh)
We saw some flowers by the water-side *big sigh*
We saw some flowers by the water-side *big sigh*, oh oh by the water-side,
oh oh by the water-side.


It really is lots of fun, and boy to I wish I remembered the second verse!

(Original Post)



This isn't really a story, this is a list, in no particular order, of
things I will miss very much.
Talking to Wendy on aim (I already miss her)
Talking to Ant on aim
Emily's stupid comments that keep me rolling with laughter for days
My roommie
My stereo, my stereo, my stereo
My really old friends that I have known forever, even though we tend to
loose touch for months at a time anyway
Katrina's friends, they amuse me
Sending kidnapping threats to Nathan - ha ha she's mine for almost a month!
Angel dinner
The computer lab
Joe sightings
Aim triangles
The phy plant guys
Barnes & Nobel
My dorm room
Herb, at least a little bit
The ability to always go shopping when I need to, no matter the time of day
My car
My shoes
Soda, chips, pizza, even if I don't eat them very much
The Airport
The Lake
Freeways, heh, paved roads for that matter
All my friends
Hot showers, gee, showers in general
My pink poodle purse
Church, esp. sitting in front of Nelson's mom
Maple trees
Singing at the dinner table
Roof volleyball
The pool
The ability to hear "would you like a glass of Liebfraumilch?" whenever
My relatives, holidays at Grandma's
Army men
Reading stories with Mommy (Bendamalina get that pot off your head!)
All my friends at work
Hiding blankey, the bat, abominable, etc...
Game nights

(Original Post)


Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Meet the Schrams

A General Story

Since mentioning the Schrams in the previous entry, I think it only fitting
to expound on this and add another story about adventures with them.

First, Meet the Schrams:

The dog: I don't remember it's name. I don't know if it's still around.
But it had one blue eye and one brown eye, so it deserves mentioning.

Lester and Mary, my parents friends - pretty cool for being old like the
folks, but then, I think you'd have to be pretty cool to handle being
friends with my parents, especially Daddy. They kind of sort of grew
up/went to school together. I don't remember all the details on who did and
who didn't go to Bay View (I think I grew up thinking that was the only
place anyone went!) or who was what in which wedding. Anyway, they rock
and are uber-cute together.

Then there's the boys, Mikey and Bryan. Mikey is 2 years older than Wendy
and Bryan is 2 years older than me (at least school wise). Mikey was
Wendy's first boyfriend (everybody say "awwwwww" with me). So whenever we
played games, we paired up in like manner. Katrina traded off on teams
once she was old enough (I suppose we could have paired her with the dog) .

Our most frequent game was Hide and Go-Seek in the Dark. Always fun,
sometimes a little dangerous. Somehow always a little safer played
upstairs at the Shrams' (their house is always cleaner), we once in awhile
played at our house. One particular time, Bryan and I were searching
everywhere for Mikey. Having already found Wendy and Katrina and weary
from searching, we decided to rest, so we all went into my room and sat
down on the bed, thinking, discussing, trying to figure out where on earth
Mikey could have gone, where hadn't we looked. As we sat pondering the
extreme hiding abilities of Mikey, the mattress suddenly jerked a little.
The four of us sitting on the bed looked at each other, "what the...?" It
moved again. We jumped off to see what on earth was going on. Much to our
surprise, Mikey wriggled out from under the mattress. The poor boy had
been hiding there the entire time; he had been not only under our noses,
but under us! (and we were not a light load).

(Original Post)



A General Story

As anyone would know from reading previous stories, Wendy and I had lots of
fun games that we played growing up. One of my favorites drove our mother
extra-nuts. Wendy and I would clear off the floor in the living room,
probably by putting everything on a chair. Then we would put on one of our
favorite cassette tapes, Queen for We Will Rock You or the Beatles
for Back in the USSR and we would begin our Spinnathon!

Yeah, the name pretty much gives it away. We would spin, as long as we
could, and the last one left standing won. Sometimes it was a as simple as
that, sheer stamina and the ability to stay upright. Sometimes we allowed
"Dorothy". "Dorothy" meant a break taken by throwing oneself onto the
couch. As all good spinners know, just because you stop spinning doesn't
mean the room stops too. Lying on the couch, the room still felt to spin
around us and it reminded us of the house spinning in the tornado on the
Wizard of Oz, hence "Dorothy".

But sometimes we made it more of a challenge; sometimes you could bump into
people. (Hey, sometimes it was people, we roped our friends into this
debauchery too.) The bumping wasn't meant to be mean or to hurt or to
include slapping or anything...but hey, it's not my fault my arms flew out
from my body, that's centripetal force - it just happened to cause my hands
to wind up at the same level as Wendy's face. You can see why Mommy didn't
like that too much!

One of our most extreme Spinnathons ever actually happened after we moved.
The Schrams were visiting, old family friends of our parents. Mikey and
Bryan joined us for a Spinnathon that lasted well over an hour and a half!
Talk about Dizzy!

(Original Post)


Tuesday, December 16, 2003


I fear Emily is right, I won't be able to share the best stories.... if they were mine, I'd do it - but alas, my life is not that exciting.

We must settle for a slightly amusing Emily Story.
Sitting at lunch, Emily and I were involved in our general conversations. Probably of the kind few else would understand, about Job and milkshakes and numbers less than 5 and that sort of silliness. Suddenly Emily made one of those faces only she can do, where her nose squishes up a little, her eyes get real wide and her upper lip quivers as her jaw drops open, 'I don't know where I parked' she suddenly exclaimed out of nowhere. 'Do you know what lot it's in?' 'No! I have no idea where I put it.' .... I don't know where her car was that day, or how long it took her to find it...I can only assume she eventually did as she returned home later that evening and I doubt it was by foot.

(Original Post)


Friday, December 12, 2003

A New Category

I have decided we are in need of a new category, Emily Stories Hee hee

We'll start nice and light, most of these, I'm sure will be excerpts of conversations.

Me: The blue truck is still here, that's odd.
Emily: Yeah, I know, I saw it when I was living.

Now, one would think perhaps she meant leaving, they sound kinda the same - but noooo....

Me: are you dead?
Emily: Oops, I meant walking

(probably the worst part is that this conversation was on aim - where she had to type it, and thus, one would expect, think about it a little more!)

(Original Post)


It's Like that Science Experiment...

Ok, ok, so I wasn't little, this was last week - but it's way cute. A Dinner Story another testament to Katrina's cuteness.

Daddy bought special bread so Mommy made pasta for dinner. The bread was slab shaped, about the size of a cookie sheet, cheese and garlic - way yummy! One half of it was left and I wanted the cheesiest part. So I cut a piece out from the middle of the edge leaving a [ shape on the cookie tray. I, me - the college student, said, "look, it's a c!"
Katrina, the 15 year-old said: No, it's like that experiment they did to find out that the atoms had a nucleus. The thing was shaped like that and it shot particles at a sheet of metal over here (pointing to the otherside of the cookie sheet) and most of them went right through like they were supposed to, but some of them didn't and they bounced off at weird angles so they knew something was inside the atoms.

She's not a Schultz or anything.

(Original Post)


Thursday, December 11, 2003

Katrina's 500 Word Esssay

I am so proud of my little sister, and this is soooo funny! Here it is folks: Katrina's essay on talking
The reason I was talking during the announcements was that I was telling Lindsey where her cough drop had gone, it went under the heater. Leah had tossed the cough drop behind her for Lindsey when she had asked for one earlier before the bell rung. It bounced off Lindsey's head and slid under the heater. I thought that they wouldn't know where it had gone so I pointed and told Lindsey so she could get it. I am sincerely sorry that I found it important to tell her where it had gone so she did not have to look all over the place.

I also did not want a mouse to find it, because you know if you give a mouse a cough drop in the English room, he's going to want a tissue. And if you give him a tissue, it's going to remind him of his soft bed. Once he gets in his bed, he is going to want another pillow to stop his nose from getting stuffy. When he gets his pillow, he's going to sleep and get better. Then when he wakes up and he is all better, he is going to find a nice little girl mouse. And then, they reproduce. All his little children are going to get a cough. Once they get the cough, they are going to go all over the school looking for cough drops. Then, when they find the cough drops… well, you know what comes next.

Now, people these days think that they are covering their mouths, but the germs are still getting on things. Then more people get the germs and pass them on to others. Before you know it, there is another flu epidemic. That could get you sick, and that would be just horrid. We could end up with one of those substitute teachers that did not teach us anything. That would be a waste of our intellect. If you would not be there to teach us then we would not learn that you could not say "depitterized". Cause that is not correct English. Neither is "cause" for that matter.

Any who, back on the topic of talking, one definition of talk from The American Heritage Dictionary of The English Language, is 'to converse by means of spoken language." Therefore, I guess I was talking but not too loud as to disturb the other students around me. So now I know the importance of not talking during the announcements even though we get them second hour. Though they are there for the people who didn't listen to them in second hour and for the people who were not here at that point in time.

I know the definition of talk but I do not know the definition of silence. This is one definition from the same dictionary, "A period of time without speech or noise." I picked this definition because it seemed to fit most perfectly with the silence we are supposed to observe. This means, from the same dictionary, "To adhere to or abide by."

Katrina Schultz

(Original Post)


Monday, September 8, 2003

Always Watching

Yes my friends, I am back. A Vacation Story. In order for this one to make sense, you must be familiar with the vampiring vampire story.

Last month our family took what may have been our last summer vacation all together. A lovely little jaunt through the corn fields of Iowa and Nebraska, we enjoyed all sorts of the usual, old houses of people who were almost famous, presidential spots, museums, zoos, etc. But, the most fun was had just sitting around, in the car and of course at meals. As many of my friends have said, "a meal with the Schultz's is never boring".

Wendy and I, involved in a good old-fashioned spat, were arguing over or discussing something, I don't remember what. Responding to some comment she made that perturbed me, I raised my right hand up, back of the hand facing her, index and middle finger split apart in a backward peace sign, "up your kilt" sort of gesture. "It's a 'v' for vampire" I glared at her. "Oh yeah," she raised her hand in like manner, but with her fingers closed. "It's a 'u' for umpire," she retorted. "Just wait," I declared, knowing fair well I could not give her the correct following gesture in front of the family, "Mommy isn't always watching." Katrina piped in, "but Santa is!"


(Original Post)

Wednesday, July 9, 2003

No, He's Lutheran

Since I am on a role, here is another Great Quotes story.

Last week, sitting in the band room at the highschool, I heard Wendy talking to her friends about her ex-boyfriend and their incompatibility. (For those who don't know, she is a geology major at University of Nebraska - Lincoln, studying to be a paleontologist.) She was giving an example, "he thinks the dinosaurs died in Noah's flood." One of her friends asked, "oh, is he... slow?" "No," she paused, thinking of how best to put it, "he's Lutheran."

Rolling With Laughter

(Original Post)

Monday, July 7, 2003

The Infamous Chicken Dinner Story

In honor of my parents' 24th wedding anniversary, a story that shows us how much they still love each other, maybe even a little too much.... A Great Quotes story.

It was a regular family dinner, senior year of highschool. We all sat around the table, Mommy, Daddy, Wendy, Katrina - who was 11ish, Suse and me. Daddy, as usual had made dinner, chicken breasts w/ some sort of side dishes. Mommy was sitting at the end of the table just poking her chicken with her fork. Daddy says to her, "What's wrong, why aren't you eating? I worked really hard to make this nice chicken dinner for you and you're not eating!" Mommy, resting her fork on her table, replied, "I'm too tired to eat, I want something I can just stick in my mouth." To which Daddy responded, "I'll give you something to stick in your mouth."!
Suse's jaw dropped to the table, I got up and left the room, my appetite suddenly gone, Mommy yelled, "Tim" and smacked his arm, Katrina said, "I don't get it".


(Original Post)

Friday, July 4, 2003

Do You Have Any 15s?

She's back!!! After a few months running around like a chicken with my head cut off, I have returned to update some stories. Thank you to my fans who made known their disappointment at the sorry state of my updating.

In honor of the 4th of July holiday, I present to you a Great Quotes story.

Normally, on great fireworks holidays such as the 4th of July and Waterfrolicks, we go to the display as a family, toting along fresh popped popcorn, a frisbee, a deck of cards, 2 lawn chairs and a blanket. We pick out a nice spot, set-up, and begin amusing ourselves until it's time for the fireworks. One year, when Katrina was about 5 or 6, I sat down with her on the blanket and took out the deck of cards. "Do you want to play Go-Fish?" I asked. "No," she replied, "I don't know how. Can we play cribbage?" !!!!


(Original Post)

Wednesday, May 14, 2003

The Not-So-Little Vampire

A Vampire Story

As you know from reading "The Little Vampire", Katrina's vampire-ish exploits did not end when she got a little older - in fact, they increased! Here is a list of things she did at the height of her vampire craze:
-Answered the door and then jumped on the person there, trying to bite their neck (my friends in high school found this just a tad strange)
-Wore her blankey as a cape (but only occasionally)
-Tried to bite me, Wendy and Mommy (still does sometimes)
-Designed clothes in a "vampire and witches" fashion line
And the best of all:
-Made her bed, then slept with her feet at the head and her head at the foot so she was upside-down like a bat, because vampire's turn into bats!
I love you, Katrina! :*


(Original Post)

My Pet Parrot

A Great Quotes story. "I Don't Have any F***ing Crackers!"

I have a parrot. It's an imaginary parrot. He likes crackers. I never have any crackers. Now, you may be wondering how I came into possession of an imaginary parrot, so I will explain.

One day I sat eating lunch in the MDR with my usual cohorts, when I happened to not have a clean fork for my fruit. Being the lazy person I am, I chose to eat my honeydew pieces with my knife rather than getting up to get a new utensil. As I stabbed my fruit and pulled it off the knife with my teeth, the comment came up that I resembled a pirate. One of the guys, I think John, reminded us pirates have parrots, and so my parrot appeared on my left shoulder. As I was eating, Parrot kept asking for crackers. Finally I grew sick of his nagging and yelled that I didn't have any crackers (insert expletive where appropriate). Parrot didn't want any melon so I went on eating. Later, when he began squawking about crackers again, I moved my hand toward him, forgetting the knife was in it. I stabbed my poor parrot and he fell to the table! I turned to Ryan, upset I had just murdered my pet parrot. Ryan assured me it was ok and comforted me by telling me he was in a better place now. "What could be better than my shoulder?" I asked. "Your other shoulder!" he exclaimed. And thus, Parrot was reborn on my right shoulder. Now he helps keep the left shoulder little devil from beating up the little angel on my right shoulder. But he still asks for crackers a lot and I don't have any f**ing crackers!


(Original Post)

Mommy! She Called Me a Vampiring Vampire!

A Vacation story: the development of vampire as profanity.

One day on a small vacation, the family sat at Taco Bell eating our meal when Wendy, in her carelessness, swore in front of Mommy. Mommy reached over and lightly slapped her. I asked her why she did that and Mommy said, "She said a batty word". (Trying to say bad and naughty together.) Me, being a smart-ass, said, "a batty word? What's a batty? Like vampire?" And from that moment on, vampire became the stand in for all swear words. One of us would stub our toe and mutter "vampire". We would get mad at each other and say "you vampire". Someone would whine and another person would say, "stop vampiring". Pretty soon we got really good at stringing them together, "you vampiring vampire" or "mother-vampiring, vampire vampire vampire." Before you knew it, vampire became a bad word that we were not allowed to use in front of Mommy. It was kinda neat to see the evolution of language in that way - a normal word becoming profanity simply by it's usage. When we get really mad - we still use vampire, it may get a glare from Mommy, but it's better than some other options. ;)


(Original Post)

Tuesday, May 13, 2003

Human Checkers

A short General story.

When Wendy and I were little we often used our imaginations to play games. (If you haven't figured that out yet, please seek help.) One room in the basement of our old house had a flooring of about 1ftx1ft red and black squares arranged in a checkerboard fashion, so we played human checkers. We would choose a side, stand on a black square and move diagonally from square to square as if we were the checkers. However, since there were only 2 checkers on this board, we often moved around and around without getting near each other and became kings very easily. But it was still amusing!


(Original Post)

Church War, and I Don't Mean the Crusades

A Church Story

One day, when I was younger, my mother and I sat in the Fellowship Hall at church enjoying coffee hour. As time grew near for Sunday school, she asked me to find Wendy who had wandered off. I went searching through the different parts of the church, sunday school rooms, bathrooms, etc and finally found her in the nursery. She was not just playing in there nicely, nor was she alone. Her and the boys from her Sunday school class were playing war in the nursery! They were launching stuffed animals at each other and diving behind the toy stove and table for cover! So you see, I am not the only one who causes trouble. :)

(Original Post)

Sir Barnabus and the Grizzly Bear

Perhaps I just don't have enough stories to continue posting an average of one per day, we will try for one every two days...perhaps. A General Story.

One day, not so very long ago, I had an empty cardboard wrapping paper tube. (Oh! How exciting! - be patient.) This tube served as my "weapon" as I ran away from my little vampire sister who tried to bite me pretending to be Barnabus Collins. I ran up the stairs trying to escape but she was close on my heels, I reached the landing at the top, turned and did an imitation karate kick at her head. She then designated me "Jackie Chan". As the chase continued and I tried fending off my attacker, I took my wrapping paper tube and tapped her on each shoulder; thus transforming her into Sir Barnabus and me into Queen Jackie Chan. As the Queen, I commanded my new knight to go and killy the grizzly bears, whereupon she ran straight to Wendy. Poor Wendy was lying on the floor under the computer desk attempting to fix something when she was attacked by the knighted vampire. We now had Sir Barnabus, Queen Jackie Chan and a Grizzly Bear, but someone was missing - The Belgian! As I ran after Sir Barnabus, through the living room, I was shot down by a lazer! The Belgian sat on the couch, the brace of her broken finger serving as her lazer. For the rest of the day (week? still....) we all ran around playing our respective roles and pseudo fighting each other. It was great fun!


(Original Post)

Thursday, May 8, 2003

Name That President

3 down, 5 to go! A break from the norm, and now, a Suse story.

Suse and I had lots of things we liked to do together, especially playing Name That President. We often played at night when we should have been sleeping, at school in the cafeteria, in the car and at dinner we even tried to coax everyone else into playing. This game could go 2 ways, either one of us would call out a number and the other would name the corresponding president or vice versa.

We learned all the presidents together because Suse need to know them for her US History class. As I helped her, I learned them too. We had neat little mnemonics for them. Here are just a few:
20 - Garfield, Garfield the cat weighs 20lbs
25 - McKinley, 25th is Christmas, it snows on Christmas, it snows on Mt. McKinley
26 - Teddy Roosevelt, there are 13 bodies buried in the basement and 13 times 2 is 26
4 - Madison, you can golf in Madison and when you golf you yell "fore"
8 - Martin Van Buren, nicknamed Little Magician and it's a Magic 8 ball
14 - Franklin Pierce, when you are 14 you can get your ears pierced
18 - Grant, 18 is grand
7 - Jackson, the Jackson 5 plus the parents is 7


(Original Post)

The Zoo

6 more! I may have to break this into groups. A third General story.
Everyone knows my house growing up was always a zoo, but one day I decided to turn it into even more of one. I took my stuffed animals and sorted them by type: cats, dogs, frogs, wuzzles, etc. Then I placed each group in it's own room or closet depending on the size. To help my zoo visitors, I made signs for all the animals and put them at the doors to the rooms. Then I took pictures of each area just for posterity's sake. And lastly, I fetched Mommy and gave her a complete tour of the zoo. It was wondeful! I still have the picture of the frogs sitting on the floor of a small closet next to some big boxes and a sign that says "FROGS".


(Original Post)

Imaginary Friends

Ahh, 7 more! Another General story. Now I know nobody who has been keeping up with my stories will find this surprising, but my sisters and I had imaginary friends when we were little (and not so little). Wendy and I often played with ours together. She had two that I remember, See-see and Bomboo. I believe they were both people and I recall them being great fun!. Katrina had one imaginary friend that, for whatever reason, she named Ca-ca. But me, I had 4 imaginary alligators.

Jack, Sally, Lee and Bob lived in Florida. (Silly, alligators can't survive in Wisconsin, it's cold!) I had a little transport machine (also imaginary)I used to beam them up for visits when I wanted to play. These were very special alligators, they had many talents. They could change size, grow or shrink - this way they could fit in my pocket or come in a building with me. They also loved to jump. I had a beautiful little briefcase (also imaginary) that unfolded into a splendid trampoline. At recess they would play on this trampoline, jumping to the top of the school building or even unto the clouds! I was their coach and helped them practice. Sometimes they wouldn't quite make it to the top of the school, so I would encourage them and help them reach their goals! I loved my alligators, it's been awhile since they've come to play with me, maybe I should call them for a game of roof-volleyball!


(Original Post)

It's a Tornado! No, It's a Bear!

Wow, I owe 8 entires to my loyal readers. The internet at school has been bloody awful. So here we go, a General story.

Feeding pandas wasn't the only fun thing to do in our backyard when I was little. We often played one of my favorites, Tornado. Our garage had these big old wooden swinging doors with little square windows. The garage had four of these doors, 2 for each car area. We usually only played with one set, I think there might have been too much stuff on the other side.
My sister, the neighbors and I would pretend there was a tornado outside. We ran around outside in the "wind" and struggled to shut the large wooden doors before the twister came. Then we would hide in the garage and watch things "blow" around outside. It really was great fun and quite exciting.

This game also doubled as a wilderness adventure when instead of running from a tornado, we ran from a bear! Sometimes we would even grab brooms and sticks to run out and fight the bear, but this could be dangerous because we might scrap our knees on the pavement. Sometimes we were really adventurous and had a tornado and a bear!

Then one day Mommy and Daddy decided to replace the barn doors with new-fangled overhead doors. I was very sad. :(


(Original Post)

Friday, May 2, 2003

Stain, Get Out!

I was naughty again and forgot to write - actually I have been very sick and it's finals time. But I won't disappoint my readers! - A Great Quotes story.

One day, when I was not so young (like this year), I got spaghetti sauce on my new sweatshirt at dinner. I was quite upset by this and called for Mommy to help.

Mommy, being well experienced in the trials and torments of laundry, owns several pre-treating products. Most people are familiar with Shout spray from the commercials. Mommy also had a Tide product called Kick which you rub on the stain. So she told me to Shout and Kick the sweatshirt in order to get the stain out.

Me, in all my smart-ass glory, proceeded to remove my sweatshirt, hold it out at arms length and yell very loudly, directly at it, "Stain, Get Out!". Then I kicked the sweatshirt several times with my foot.

Mommy dropped to her knees laughing, tears streaming down her face. It was wonderful!


(Original Post)

Tuesday, April 29, 2003

Why My Mommy Rocks

This one's not exactly a story, it's special. I don't want you to think my mommy's a party pooper just because she shows up at the end of most of my stories to reprimand us - she was just doing her job as "mommy". So, to show you how truly wonderful she is:
The Top Ten Reasons My Mommy Rocks

10. She's an Alpha Xi (like me)
9. She's always supportive
8. She's taught me so much (except she can't seem to teach me to do the vampire face instead of the blood-sucking toad)
7. She sews us clothes (and taught me how to, too)
6. She sings songs with us at dinner (including sorority songs)
5. She still colors with me at the kitchen table
4. She loves me
3. She plays games with us (even Twister)
2. She's beautiful
And, the #1 reason my mommy rocks:
..She puts up with me :)

When I grow up, I want to be just like my mommy.


Snow Fight!

Here's another story about snow. Another General Story

Senior year of high-school, Wendy, Suse, our friend Dan and I all carpooled together in the "Owl Mobile" (aka "Ghetto Cruiser", aka "Teen Mobile"), a 1989 grey pontiac 6000 with a kick-ass stereo in it. Every day we would drive to and from school singing and having a blast - but that's another story.

One winter we had all gotten into a bit of a snow fight while walking to the car and in good Schultz fashion, we couldn't just drop it...

The whole way to Dan's house, and then home from there, we rolled down the windows to scoop snow off the roof, opened doors at stops to scoop snow off the medians, and picked up snow from the floor of the car - and chucked it at each other with mad flurry. Except at me (hee hee), there was a "no throwing snow at the driver unless stopped" rule for safety. It was great fun and we all got home rosy from the cold and a little damp from the melting snow (you can't turn the heat off in the car).

[Notice: this story does not have an "UH-Oh, Mommy showed up part because she probably didn't know until reading this.]


Winter War

Ok, 3 more to go to make up for this past weekend.
Another General Story

The NG wasn't just a summer group, we played together in winter too. We really enjoyed playing in the front yard after (or during) a large snowfall. Normally each of us would create a slide or tunnel out of our designate snowbank, but one time we decided to add some extra fun. Beyond a normal snowball fight, we created an all out war. The object of this war, like most, was to capture the most territory. We took out the small American flags given out at summer parades so we could mark our beginning territories. One team was the right side up flags, the other, upside down. We placed our flags, in their respective positions, in our snowbanks and the war commenced.

In order to capture a territory, one needed only to turn the flag to their position. Sounds easy, right - nope. As typical in winter, our weapons were snowballs; if we got hit with one, we were injured and had to lay down on the ground right where we were until our teammates could rescue us. In order to do this, they had to hoist the "injured" person onto a saucer and pull it back to one of their teams snowbanks. All this had to be done while still defending the banks in possession and attempting to get new ones. Needless to say, it was much easier when Katrina or Jennifer got hit than one of us older people. It was loads of fun until Wendy got hit in the face with a supposed ice-ball and ran inside crying. Then a very angry Mommy showed up at the door, I got yelled at, and we all had to go home for the night. :( I don't even know if anybody won.

Feeding the Pandas

Oh boy! I owe a great many back entries at this point, sorry folks. Let's jump right in:
A General Story

When we were little, there a was beautiful birch tree in our backyard near the swing-set. On summer Daddy decided the tree needed some trimming (I think it was growing over the garage), so he went to work and created a nice big pile of birch branches and logs. Wendy and I, with our ever-over-active imaginations, declared this wood "bamboo" because that's what we fathomed bamboo to look like.

Now, of course, where there is bamboo there are panda bears. So we decided to feed the poor starving pandas who couldn't get to the piles of bamboo near the garage. Wendy and I would gather up arm fulls of the tree pieces, little sticks for the baby pandas, and the larger branches for the mommy and daddy pandas. We would get the food to the pandas by laying some of it in an open area of the yard and then booking it as fast our little legs could carry us to the safety of the back door - pandas are big and strong and bears are very dangerous for little girls. We would watch through the screen door, pointing out to each other, "look there's a mommy and a baby eating that piece" or "there's a big one by that pile."

After we had scattered much of the birch trimmings around the yard Mommy came along (this usually means "UH-OH"). She was upset we had ruined Daddy's nice neat pile of tree branches by scattering the entire back yard with leaves and branches. For some reason, the explanation that we were feeding the pandas didn't go over too well.


Friday, April 25, 2003

I Used to Think...

This one is a little different in that I may add to it as I remember things: A General Story.

When I was little, I used to think Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur were special Girl Scout holidays because they were on my Girl Scout calender and nowhere else.

When I was little, I used to think it was called "Silicon Valley" because most of the woman there had fake breasts.

When I was little, I used to think all dogs were males and all cats were females - like roosters and chickens. Not sure why, possibly because my id bracelet has a dog and a cat with a heart in between them and becasue dogs act like men whereas cats act like women.


Thursday, April 24, 2003

Why I was Afraid of the Basement

And the promised second story of the day: General Story

Our old house in St. Francis had a really freaky basement. The doors were big heavy wood (well, big and heavy to a little girl) and were decorated with wrought iron hinges and huge door knockers that we called "Freddy-Krueger handles". In the back room, diagonal from the furnace, was a small room used as a storage closet. The corner of the basement it was situated in was rather dark, adding to the spookiness. Opening the big wooden door always scared me, inside the small room, one lone window cast eerie shadows, everything was dusty and it smelled like damp basement - but the scariest part was the first thing you'd see upon opening the door. There, on the wall right across from the doorway hung... a framed poster of Billy Idol! Talk about traumatic for a 7 year old!



Ok, Ok, I've been bad again and missed yesterday - so 2 stories it is! The first one today: a Summer Story

As you may know from previous entries, the NG had our own "production company", NG Basement Productions, which made movies and did productions. One summer we did Aladdin (unfortunately we did not get this one on tape). We chose this not only because we all loved it, but also because we had some of the costumes. A previous Halloween Katrina had gone as Jasmine and I had gone as Jafar. Jasmine was a purchased costume but Jafar, like most of our Halloween costumes, Mommy made. It was wonderful, looked just like his outfit, the shoulder "wings" were so large I had to walk sideways to fit through doors!

For our production, Katrina played Jasmine, Wendy played Aladdin, Jennifer played Genie, Gina played the dude at the beginning and sometimes Jafar (we traded off a bit). We didn't do the whole movie really, but did little routines while lip-syncing to the soundtrack.

Gina started the show with the introduction, using a yellow flashlight for the lamp and after "this is no ordinary lamp" exclaiming, "this is not a lamp" and launching it behind her. When Wendy did "One Jump Ahead", the rest of us also were on "stage" (the carpet of the basement floor) doing the background parts. The best was when Gina would put on the plastic glasses with fake cardboard eyes on them and sing, "still I think he's rather tasty". Jennifer's Genie costume was a long blue dress that was really part of an old Alice-in-Wonderland costume, but to make it more Genie-ish we pinned on a blue net "tail" from Wendy's 4 yr old tap recital costume. But, the most creative part of the whole show was "A Whole New World". Katrina and Wendy sat on a small rug in the middle of the stage, the other three of us split, Jennifer and Gina on one side of the rug and me on the other, all off the stage. The three of us tossed the pool basketball and volleyball back and forth in front of and behind the rug. Why? Because the crepe paper tails we had taped on the balls formed our clouds making the magic carpet fly! It was great fun and we all still remember most of the words to the songs.

(Originally posted April 24, 2003.)


Wednesday, April 23, 2003

Breakfast Songs

And now, the second story for today. A General Story . This one's short and sweet.

Growing up breakfast with Daddy usually included him singing to us. And what kind of songs does a father sing to his elementary aged children?

"I wear my sunglasses at night, so I can, so I can, see...."

"I used to love my girls, when they were all in curls, then they discovered boys, who have much neater toys. And now I only hope, that I can learn to cope, with son-in-laws named Spike, whom I don't even like."

"And where do we go from here, which is the way that's clear? Still looking for my blue-eyed baby queen, prettiest girl I'd ever seen. See her shake on the movie screen, Jimmy Dean, James Dean."

And of course, the best thing for young girls - often recited as poetry:
"One pill makes you larger, and one pill makes you small, but the one's that mother gives you don't do anything at all. Go ask Alice."

(Originally posted April 22, 2003.)


Crossing the Street

Ok, ok, I forgot again yesterday - so 2 stories it is!
First - a Classic from when I was little. This story was told to me by my parents, hopefully I have the details correct.

When I was little, my parents made sure to teach me the things I would need to know to stay safe. A very important rule: Never cross the street or alley without holding someone's hand.
One time, when I was 2, my parents found me out back behind our house - on the other side of the alley! Uh oh - bad girl. They reprimanded me and reminded me that I was told not to cross without holding someone's hand. Always one to follow (or bend) the rules, I replied, "I did, I held my own hands."
Lots of people thought this was cute, my mother was worried. She should have been - I was already a smart-ass at 2!

(Originally posted April 22. 2008.)


Sunday, April 20, 2003

"Hey, You Footed Me"

As promised, another story to make up for yesterday. This one isn't exactly from childhood, but it is a classic. A Suse Story

Senior year of high school my family hosted a wonderful exchange student named Suse. The epitome of Deutschland, she had rosy round cheeks, blue eyes and blond hair - everything but the German accent. Everyone loved Suse, and with good reason too, besides being absolutely adorable, she was also smart, cute and innocent. Every day our little group ate lunch together at the same table in the cafeteria.

Now, they say english is a tricky language to learn, and I believe them, Suse demonstrated it first hand. You know how when someone hits you with their elbow you say they "elbowed" you. Or if you hit someone with your knee, you "kneed" them. Well, Suse thought that this must be correct for all body parts. Once I kicked her and she said, "hey you footed me."
It didn't take long to realize this misunderstanding could be very amusing. So at lunch, as we all sat eating, I would sit and poke Suse's arm. She would try ignoring it, going on with her conversation...but finally she couldn't take anymore. She swatted my arm away yelling as loud as she could, "Stop fingering me!"
(Talk about getting people's attention)

(Originally posted April 20, 2003.)


Roof Volleyball

Sorry I forgot to add a story yesterday, will have to do two today. Happy Easter.
And yet another Summer Story.

Everyone has favorite games they played around the neighborhood when they were little: tag, hide and go seek, duck duck goose, etc. We played all these too, but we had our own special games. Although "city" (see future entry) comes close, by far the most popular was/is "roof volleyball". (All those ESPN 7 fans out there, feel free to add your memories of this wonderful game in the comments section!)

During beautiful summer days the NG would gather together in our swimsuits and shorts, ready for a tough game of roof volleyball. Our team, "the frosted flakes" (we're grrreat!), would gather on the grass in front of the house and make some crucial decisions. We wouldn't pick teams or anything like that, we all played against the roof - we had to settle on court size. See, the lower level roof stretches all the way across the front of the house, over the garage and porch. If we played ultimate court, that meant using the whole lower roof - which meant playing on the driveway as well as the grass. this was usually used for games in which our team numbered over 7 players since none of us particularly enjoyed diving on pavement. If we played large court, that meant the grass (from the right edge of the roof) to the driveway line. We used this side more when we were older and had at least 5 people playing. But our standard court as youngsters stretched only from that right edge of the roof to the edge of the bushes in front of the porch entrance,a distance of about 8ft.

Everyone would select their positions. (5 players meant 2 in front, 2 in back and one middle; 4 was 2 front, 2 back; 3, 2 front, 1 back; with 2 or 1 it was pretty much a free for all.)
We played by what we considered standard volleyball rules. The game began with volleying the plastic playground ball between us and the roof in order to decide which team would serve. When we served, the person in the back corner would hit the ball either over hand or under. More often than not, the ball hit the tree on the right, rather than the roof on the left. (But what do you except from a 7 year old?) When the roof served, one of us simply threw the ball up on the roof and let it roll off and into play.

My parents used to sit on the porch to watch us play, but they soon learned this was not a safe area to view from. Wild serves and volleys would crash into their chairs or thud against the living room windows.

Out of bounds meant over the imaginary lines drawn down from the above mentioned boundaries, behind us or under the roof (onto the porch). The only way we scored was if the roof hit the ball out of bounds. So, if we served the ball onto the roof and the roof returned it by rolling it onto the driveway - point for us! The roof scored or regained control of the ball whenever we failed to hit it back onto the roof (a common place event when a team consisting of people between 4 and 5 ft plays a roof 8ft high at it's lowest). The roof earned many of its points by spiking the ball. If our team returned a roof play and hit the underside of the roof - the roof spiked it pretty much straight down with little chance for us to hit it back. If we were lucky, it spiked into the garden between the grass and the porch, this counted as out of bounds. otherwise, if it spiked unto the grass, roof's ball :(.

We played until 15, with of course, requiring that 2 point gap to actually win. It was a long time before we beat the roof - we still don't sometimes. But it's a great game and anyone who's played it can testify to the great fun and enjoyment created by roof volleyball. Come over and play sometime!

(Originally posted April 20, 2003.)


Friday, April 18, 2003

Name That Song

I don't have a story related to Good Friday, so here's another Summer Story

One of the NG's favorite games through-out our many summers was "name that song". As a group, we never failed to amuse ourselves, and this game proved perfect for bad weather days.
My parents had a 5 disc cd changer, and there were 5 of us, so we each would pick out one cd. After placing them in the cd player and setting it on shuffle, we took a large magazine and hung it off the top of the cd player. (opening it and placing half on top so the other half hung over the display) This prevented us from using the track #s to figure out the song. Then we all sat on the couch and waited for the music to begin. As soon as anyone thought they new what song it was, they would jump up and yell the title. Then that person would go up to the cd player, peek under the magazine for the track # and compare it to the cd cases lined up on top of the equipment. If they were wrong, they would sit back down and other people would begin to guess. If they were right, the fun really began.

The lucky "winner" could then decide if they would perform a concert or a music video. If they selected a music video, everyone else remained on the couch and "critiqued" the video as the performer danced and lip-synced around the room. If they chose concert, all hell broke loose. Everyone on the couch became the audience and could rush the "stage" and performer at anytime. Either choice, we had a blast! Sometimes we even brought up dress-up clothes from the basement and went all out!

(Originally posted April 18, 2003.)


Thursday, April 17, 2003

World Communion

A Church Story
Since it is Maundy Thursday, I think a communion story might be in order. :)

At Tippie, the church we went to when I was little, the communion was passed around in silver platters - except on World Communion Sunday. On that Sunday, the pastor held the loaf of bread at the front of the church and elders held the grape-juice off to either side. Now, in the Presbyterian church there is no specified age for a first communion so I don't remember how old my sister was, but we were sitting on the left side of the church so it was in our later years there - she was probably about 7 or 8.
In preparation for receiving the "bread and wine" we filed out into the aisle, my sister in front because she had been sitting on the center end of the pew. As we neared the pastor, we could see the people in front of us taking small pieces off the loaf. Luckily, we sat very close to the front so by the time we reached the loaf, most people had gotten their bread. Why is this a good thing? Because my sister reached up and took half the loaf! When we got back to the pew I was very upset with her and told her she shouldn't have done that. - Her response, "I'm hungry!" She then sat and ate the bread for the remainder of the service.

***Wendy claims she only took that amount because it's what came off. Either way, she still told me she was hungry and continued to eat it.

(Originally posted April 17, 2003.)


Wednesday, April 16, 2003

The Little Vampire

My Sister, The Vampire
One night, when I was 9 or 10, I lay in my bed reading. It was bedtime, and I often read a book before going to sleep. It was quite warm in my room that night, so the covers were more under me than on top of me. I was enjoying my book when my little sister, just a toddler, waddled into my room. I said hi to her but she didn't respond, so I looked at her. She didn't pause, just waddled right up to my bed, leaned over and bit my hip. Then she turned and ran out of the room taking some of my skin with her.
I went downstairs to tell Mommy. She didn't believe me because Katrina was supposedly in bed, besides - why would she bite me? Then I showed Mommy the teeth marks and the owie that was now bleeding.
My sister still thinks she's a vampire, but she stopped biting people (for the most part) a few yrs ago.

(Originally posted April 16, 2003.)



I am contemplating continuing my daily childhood stories in the memories section (Can't lose them!) and using this as a regular journal. However, since if you are reading this it will probably effect you, I want opinions. If I do this, it will not be a place where I make odd comments in regards to small anonymous incidents, rather, in my true brutal honesty fashion, this will simply be typing in what I write in my regular books. I will enter back-entries as I have time. This means that if I was mad at you on say March 10th of 2001, it might say some not-so-nice things. It also means you may find out more than you wanted to know about me (esp. if you're my mother) or it could satisfy your curiosity of what goes on in my head. I am interested in sharing this since I believe in being an open-person, but I do not want to do it at the expense of hurting others, esp those I care enough about to include in my memories of life. Please respond to this and let me know how you feel about the addition of such, of restrictions wanted or censoring/editing desired. Thanks, Me.

(Originally Posted on April 16, 2003.)


Tuesday, April 15, 2003

The Sea Monster and the Pea!?

Summer Stories

One summer day at home, the NG grew tired of the same old same old and decided to do something really fun and new. We wanted to touch the ceiling..but how? So we went up to my room which had a day bed at the time and tried standing on that. Not everyone could reach, but then...we got a brilliant idea. We went through the house and took every twin size mattress we could find, including the one off the trundle. We stacked them all on my bed and then put blankets on top. It was quite the tower - 4 mattresses! Then we climbed up on top of the bed (this was no easy task) and pretended it was a ship. We would take turns being a sea monster that would try to pull the others off the "ship". Of course pretty soon some of the blankets were on the floor, and then top mattresses began to slide off and people clung to them for dear life as the sea monster pulled on them. We decided it hurt a lot when we landed on the floor anyway, so we moved the trundle mattress to the floor, which made the sea monster higher and the ship lower, but the ground softer. It was a great day of fun...until Mommy and Daddy came home. Rule 1: if you know you'll get in trouble, you probably shouldn't take pictures - esp. when you're too young to get them developed yourself.

(Originally posted April 15, 2003.)


Monday, April 14, 2003

NG Olympics

Since it's so nice out: A Summer Story

There were five us, the standard core group, my sisters Wendy and Katrina, the next-door neighbor Jennifer, and the girl down the block, Gina. Occasionally others would join us, Bethany, Danny, Jason, Dan, etc. But the five of us, we were the NG, neighborhood gang. We even had our own "company" NG Productions - we made movies. If you haven't had the pleasure (torture) of watching them, you are missing out!

Since this included the introductory info, it will be a short summer story.

We had always talked about having Olympics in the backyard, so one summer we held the NG OLYMPICS. Everyone picked a country and made a paper flag - I was Qatar. We made "medals" by cutting out cardboard circles and painting them with metallic paints. We wrote the places on them and what event they were for and hung them with red, blue and white ribbons. When one person performed, the rest of us served as judges. We had three areas of competition with different events in each area: backyard, front yard and the pool. Some events included diving, swim races, biggest splash, smallest splash, long jump into the pool, long jump off the swing, bike races, etc. It was way good fun! The biggest splashes went over the fence into the neighbors yard, the longest pool jumpers made it over the whole shallow end, the longest swing jumpers made it past the sand and we all had a great time! There's video of it somewhere.

(Originally posted April 14, 2003.)


Sunday, April 13, 2003

Little Bunny Foo-Foo

Sub-category: Vacation Stories

One time, on vacation, the family was at a restaurant for dinner. Daddy and I were arguing about something (we're both Aries), when I heard a soft voice, "Little Bunny Foo-foo". Daddy and I stopped yelling at each other and looked down the table. Sitting at the end was my mother, complete with the bunny rabbit hand, singing "Little Bunny Foo-foo". Daddy and I looked at each other and at our sisters. We all shrugged and just joined in "hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice....". (well, Daddy didn't join in - there's always a party pooper). She may seem crazy - but Mommy stopped the fight between me and Daddy!

(Originally posted April 13, 2003.)

Saturday, April 12, 2003


Todays subtitle: Great Quotes and the Stories that Spawned Them

"When I was little, I used to make bombs." I would take the shrapnel pieces from my model cars, (the extra parts, the little bits of plastic that held the pieces together in the box, etc) and put them inside balloons. Then I would blow the balloons up nice and big and, in good 'older sister' fashion, throw them in my sister's room. Then I took a long stick (the wand from the mini-blinds that were in my bedroom) with a pin taped on the end. This way I could stand in the hall yet still "blow up" the bomb by popping the balloon with the pin.
Don't worry - I got my desserts. One time I was blowing up the balloon after I had put all the pieces in it, and it popped in my face - BOOOM!!! The little plastic pieces (and scraps of the balloon) flew all over, hitting me in the face. I got several cuts on my cheeks and arms. That was the end of making bombs.

(Originally posted April 12, 2003.)

Friday, April 11, 2003


A Summer Story
Songs We Sang While Walking to the Park!

1. The ever classic "Flying Toaster Song" from the AfterDark screensaver.

2. Hyper kids go down the street, down the street, down the street,
hyper kids go down the street,
Listen to them SCREAM (scream at top of lungs).

3. Leader: Take us to a place that's not muddy
Rest: Take us to a place that's clean
L: I don't know if I know any
R: We don't care if you get beaned
L: Sound off
R: 1 2
L: Sound off
R: 3 4
L: Sound off
All: 1 2 3 4, 12 34! (just fast, not twelve or thirty-four).

And then of course, there were the standard television theme songs and Coolio hits. (1,2,3,4 Matt and Danny are on the floor, gotta get up and run, gotta get up and run)

(Originally posted April 11, 2003.)



One time Wendy and I decided to play war in the living room. So we gathered all the pens and pencils we could find. As we were launching our projectiles at each other and diving behind furniture - Mommy came in and yelled at us. She told us to stop because we were going to get hurt throwing pens and pencils. So Wendy and I went upstairs to Katrina's room and took the packages of disposable diapers. Then we proceeded with our war in the living room, now throwing diapers at each other. For some reason, Mommy was still mad :-\ and we got yelled at again!

(Originally posted April 10, 2003.)


Thursday, April 10, 2003


(back postings of those previously listed on AIM)
I wasn't afraid to go into the bathroom in the middle of the night because of possible monsters in the shower, but because my daddy told me - you could go into the bathroom one night and walk into a wormhole and you'd never be able to come back.

(Originally posted April 10, 2003.)