Saturday, December 27, 2003

Thursday, December 25, 2003

Merry Christmas

It's Christmas morning :)
Our family likes to get creative with out labels on the presents; here's a sampling of this year's tags.

To: The one who needs a college fund (you get what is inside the box)
From: The one who is spending hers (I keep the box)
To Katrina, From Wendy

To: The Headbanger
From: The other metal lovers
To Wendy, From Katrina and me

To: Munchkin head
From: The one who wants her fashion princess back
To Katrina, From me

To: The old man with grey hair and high blood pressure
From: One who helped give him the grey hair and high blood pressure
To Daddy, From me

To: The Rebel with Permission
From: I'm watching you
To Katrina, From me

To: The Lovebirds
From: Your Eldest (open after Santa's presents)
To Mommy and Daddy, From me, Cabaret on Dvd - it was the movie they saw on their first date (Santa brought a Dvd player)

To: One of the lightest Zambians
From: Guess who
To: me, From Mommy

To: Mommy Crazy
From: The Youngest (gonna be taller than you some day)
To Mommy, from Katrina

To: The one I wanted to play with
From: I'm sorry I ate your homework (P.S. Now you can make Nathan play)
To Wendy, From me

To: The newly skinny Daddy
From: The youngest skinny
To Daddy, From Katrina

To: The Shoe Queen
From: Her shoeless mother
To: me, From Mommy

To: Color your life or keep it black and white
From: Old and senile Dr. Seuss
To: Wendy, From Mommy

To: If you give a Mommy a great daughter, she'll want two more...
From: The not-so-little stinker
To Mommy, From me

To: Tim
From: Your Kentucky relatives
To Daddy, From Auntie Jamie and Uncle Jim

To: Tim
From: To Righties
To Daddy, from Auntie Jamie and Uncle Jim

To: The little Digger
From: "At my old school we were never allowed to get caught in floods. Hey look! It's Jesus!"
To Wendy, From me (there was a partridge in a pear tree on the card, Jesus in the 12 days of Christmas)

To: One Freak (smiley face)
From: Another freak (smiley face with fangs)
To Wendy, From Katrina

To Mommy, From Daddy, he said there wasn't anything he could on the tag that would be appropriate to read in front of the children

To: Too bad you can't find this to hug there
From: The funny and annoying one
To me, From Katrina

To: The one with the numbers
From: The one without
To Mommy, from Katrina

To: The spa lovers
From: the reluctant liquor donor
To Mommy and Daddy, From me

To: Katrina Poo Who
From: Rail Roo Who
To Katrina, From me

To: Honey
From: Ham
To Mommy, From Daddy

To: The nicest lawyer we know - thanks for the lawyering
From: Jamie and Jim
To Daddy, From Auntie Jamie and Uncle Jim

These make more sense when you see the presents they go with, but I didn't want to cheat anyone out of sharing what they got with their friends, so I will add the gifts in later. Merry Christmas all!

(Original Post)


Monday, December 22, 2003

The Integral of TheTwelve Days of Christmas

Ok, so here's the background on this one:

The church play this year was about the origins of The 12 Days of Christmas. They sang a version using the things the song represents, i.e 11 faithful apostles instead of lords a leaping. Our family also has several other versions on tape and cd at home, 5 onion rings, a japanese transistor radio, a beer in a tree.. you get the idea. On the way home from the Rockettes, The 12 Days of Christmas was on the radio and we all started singing along but different versions, so Wendy said, "I wonder how many different versions you could fit in one song."

At first I suggested 12! (factorial) but soon realized this was wrong as that is multiplication. "There must be some term for adding everything instead of multiplying," I said to Wendy. Wendy pondered a bit, "Yeah, sigma." "Oh, yeah, summation!" I exclaimed, "Then we should be able to do an integral!" So Wendy and I brain-stormed and discussed and decided we wanted to use the interval from 1 to 12, being that there are 12 days in the song. So, we had to devise the correct equation for the line representing the song. We knew the slope had to be 1 as we were dealing with whole numbers and for each new verse goes up one (i.e. 2 calling birds to 3 french hens). So first we tried y=x from 1-12, that did not work, so we played around until we found the correct equation.

Ladies and gentleman the integral for The Twelve Days of Christmas is: The integral from 1 to 12 of x+2. S(x+2)dx from 1 - 12. And there are 71 total possible things to sing about!

(Then we just had to explain to Katrina what on earth we were doing!)

(Original Post)


Sunday, December 21, 2003


Things that almost made me cry today:

The church sanctuary all decorated, the white lights on the little trees, the advent candles lit, the sunlight coming through the stain-ed glass and back-lighting the manger scenes, the very full pews, the choir and the orchestra, Nelson's mommy's voice during the hymns, everything was so warm and loving and Christmasey.

The little boy sitting in front of us, who, when his not-much-littler sister came back from children's message, pulled her on his lap, squeezed her and gave her a kiss on the back of the neck. It was so cute and sweet and adorable.

The same little boy who, during the joys and concerns, simply said, "My friend's mom is dying."

The children's choir singing Silent Night, even if they sang the 1st verse three times in a row.

Mommy whiping tears from her eyes.

Pastor Rick talking about the 25 million aids orphans that will be living in Africa by 2010.

The reading from Luke 1 about Elizabeth's womb leaping for joy when she finds out Mary is pregnant. It was mentioned 2 weeks ago in Sunday school.

Singing Christmas songs in the car with the fam.

Hugging Buddy.

(Original Post)



Bits of nostalgia from my day today, the things I love and will miss about home.

We decorated the Christmas tree today; I hung my silver ballerina on it first, just like always.

Mommy read us Little Black Sambo at lunch, one of my favorite childhood books. She even used different voices for Little Black Sambo and the Tigers and Black Mambo and Black Jumbo. (Not taking that one to Africa)

Daddy and Katrina and I sang White Rabbit. (the others weren't around)

Katrina took out the canvas choo choo Christmas decoration and transported army men to the lego village she was building for them.

Daddy made a fire and watched football.

Dinner conversation about those "slow" Lutherans and the dinosaurs dieing in Noah's flood. What's wrong with Katrina's comment?: 'But if the dinosaurs did exist then wouldn't they be mentioned in the Bible. Like wouldn't it say the people were running from the dinosaurs or "and then a dinosaur came along and ate Jesus?"'

Mommy, Wendy and Katrina decided that the tinsel on the tree is like the icicles on trees outside and the lights are like the squirrels that are on fire. (The ornaments are frosting)

Someone mentioned fire at dinner, which caused choruses of We Didn't Start the Fire, Our House, and Norwegian Wood.

We sang O Telly on the Mountain. I still want to know what Telly is doing on the mountain anyway, and is Big Bird with him?

Mommy tied my shoe for me about 4 times; I could not get that sucker to stay tied.

We all laughed a lot.

Just a normal day in the Schultz household.

(Original Post)


Friday, December 19, 2003

Dinner as Usual

A Dinner Story
We went out to dinner tonight, the whole family. Here are some random pieces of conversation:

Wendy: God,....
Me: Job. Oops! I mean goodness

Mommy: Did you see that when you were living?
(Yes Emily, even when you aren't around we can pick on you)

Katrina: (singing) I put my teeth back in, I have teeth again (notices we are all staring at her), I'm done.

Me: Put the hat over your face, put it right back in place
W: Tilt the hat foreword
K: Tilt the hat back
Me, K & W: Move the hat up and down up down up and down, now you're set to go to town
Me: A looking good
M: a 2, 3 4

W: My friend, Lis's mother is goddess of the universe and when she retires Lis will be the goddess. So Nathan asked to be ruler of the world and she said ok. But, he wants to kill the Texans and the French. So Melissa and I convinced them that she gets Venus and we get to move all the Texans and French there. And he hates pro-football players so I get them on Mars.
Me: Wait, wait, when do you get Mars, what are you going to do there?
Daddy: She'll be the first paleontologist on Mars
W: Yeah, i'm gonna do my expeditions there. I don't really get it, I'm just the guardian.
Me: What pro-football players going to do on Mars?
W: (quite serious and as though I asked a stupid question) Play football on Sundays
Me: (exasperated)Of course!
M: Duh
K: But the days are different because Mars is closer to the sun

Again singing the hat song,
Me: Wave the hat up high, trade it with the next guy
Mommy took Katrina's visor and put it on her head and proceeded to follow the directions
Me: Put the hat over your face, put it right back in place,.......wave the hat up high, trade it with the next guy
Mommy put hat on my head, I put it back on Mommy's, Mommy put it on Katrina's
Daddy: Wait, put that back on it makes you look sexy like your glasses do
K: (freaking out) Ewwww, ewwww, my hat, my hat
Me: Yeah, well it's our shower! (strange looks from everyone) Nevermind

W: You have to help me take Nathan to Leon's, I don't care if we have to bind and gag him
Me: Can we tie him to the roof of the car?
W: No
Me: Like a Christmas Tree, and paint him green (weird look from mom) If we paint him green it will be less conspicuous cuz he'll look like a tree

Me: (Wendy forgot to ask for her meal w/o mushrooms) That's just like how Kathleen always forgets to ask for no tomato on her salad
D: Tomatos are good for you
Me: No they're poisonous. Gram, watch out a poiiiiisonous fruit!

W: Nathan doesn't like Chip's Challenge
Me: How can he not like Chip's Challenge?
K: That's it, he can't be a member of this family

W: I'm only part vampire
Me: Since when are you part vampire?
W: I tell Nathan I'm part vampire everytime I bite his neck
Me: I'm closing my ears
K: I'm the only full-vampire, and Mommy's half vampire so then if Mommy and Wendy are half-vampires, and I'm full...(she stopped)

"Room temperature Wooley Mammoth"
"I'm done"

And to top it all off, a list of all the people mentioned during dinner (I think):
Nathan, Melissa, Lis, Justin, Mike, Joel, Dan, The Trusses, Pat, Kathleen, Emily, Santa, Oprah, Bush, Clinton, Sadam, Joan of Arcadia, Mrs. Lewin, Amanda, Whoopi Goldberg,....

(Original Post)


Hat Hat

A General Story

For all those out there who didn't believe what I said at the end of the last entry, "plhhhhhh".
Wendy came home last night, Katrina and I collaborated and got the tape player ready! Before you could say the Gettysburg Address (it took awhile to rewind the tape), it was "listen to the water"!

It was soooo much fun. However, when we were little, I don't recall hitting my head on trombones or crashing into Christmas trees. Somehow, we fit better in the living room when we were shorter. But it was still great fun. (And the ducks and the flowers are actually the last 2 verses, the 1st two are birds and fish).

Then we played the rest of the tape, great songs like "Hat Hat" and "Mr. Computerman." "Hat Hat was extra fun. Wendy and I had Katrina's visors and Katrina had a baseball hat that said Corona. The song is great interactive fun: Put the hat on your head, spin it around that's what I said, hat hat, hat hat. Tilt the hat foreword, tilt the hat back, move the hat up and down up and down up and down, now you're set to go to town, a lookin good 2 3 4.

Throughout our fun dancing and playing, Mommy sat upstairs sewing, and smiling.
Hee Hee! These next few weeks are going to be filled so many fun activities!

(Original Post)


Thursday, December 18, 2003

Listen to the Water

A General Story

Every family (I hope) has their favorite songs growing up; songs that the
children loved and way overplayed that parents quietly sing under there
breath at the dinner table (ok, maybe that is just my family, but anyway).

Recently Mommy, Katrina and I went searching for the corresponding tape for
one of these songs. We all had it so stuck in our heads that I even im'd
Wendy with a line from it. (To which she promptly responded with the next
line of the song.) Great joy! Great joy! Mommy found the little brown
tape with the yellow label, and whether Wendy knows it or not, when she
gets home, we are going to sing and play along with that song just as we
always did. It's great fun! Here are the words and accompanying movements
to the best of my memory:

"Listen to the Water"

(chorus)Listen to the water, listen to the water, rolling down the river
(roll on ground up and down the room, with lots of people, this looks like
logs on the river)
Listen to the water, listen to the water, rolling down the river

We saw some ducks by the water-side, Quack Quack (waddle like ducks,
flapping "wings" on quack quack)
We saw some ducks by the water-side, Quack Quack
We saw some ducks by the water-side, Quack Quack, oh oh by the water-side, oh
oh by the water-side.

(chorus) (don't forget to roll)

[I don't remember what we see next, sorry]


We saw some flowers by the water-side *big sigh* (Stand up, arms over head
so you're a flower, and take a big sniff on the big sigh)
We saw some flowers by the water-side *big sigh*
We saw some flowers by the water-side *big sigh*, oh oh by the water-side,
oh oh by the water-side.


It really is lots of fun, and boy to I wish I remembered the second verse!

(Original Post)



This isn't really a story, this is a list, in no particular order, of
things I will miss very much.
Talking to Wendy on aim (I already miss her)
Talking to Ant on aim
Emily's stupid comments that keep me rolling with laughter for days
My roommie
My stereo, my stereo, my stereo
My really old friends that I have known forever, even though we tend to
loose touch for months at a time anyway
Katrina's friends, they amuse me
Sending kidnapping threats to Nathan - ha ha she's mine for almost a month!
Angel dinner
The computer lab
Joe sightings
Aim triangles
The phy plant guys
Barnes & Nobel
My dorm room
Herb, at least a little bit
The ability to always go shopping when I need to, no matter the time of day
My car
My shoes
Soda, chips, pizza, even if I don't eat them very much
The Airport
The Lake
Freeways, heh, paved roads for that matter
All my friends
Hot showers, gee, showers in general
My pink poodle purse
Church, esp. sitting in front of Nelson's mom
Maple trees
Singing at the dinner table
Roof volleyball
The pool
The ability to hear "would you like a glass of Liebfraumilch?" whenever
My relatives, holidays at Grandma's
Army men
Reading stories with Mommy (Bendamalina get that pot off your head!)
All my friends at work
Hiding blankey, the bat, abominable, etc...
Game nights

(Original Post)


Wednesday, December 17, 2003

Meet the Schrams

A General Story

Since mentioning the Schrams in the previous entry, I think it only fitting
to expound on this and add another story about adventures with them.

First, Meet the Schrams:

The dog: I don't remember it's name. I don't know if it's still around.
But it had one blue eye and one brown eye, so it deserves mentioning.

Lester and Mary, my parents friends - pretty cool for being old like the
folks, but then, I think you'd have to be pretty cool to handle being
friends with my parents, especially Daddy. They kind of sort of grew
up/went to school together. I don't remember all the details on who did and
who didn't go to Bay View (I think I grew up thinking that was the only
place anyone went!) or who was what in which wedding. Anyway, they rock
and are uber-cute together.

Then there's the boys, Mikey and Bryan. Mikey is 2 years older than Wendy
and Bryan is 2 years older than me (at least school wise). Mikey was
Wendy's first boyfriend (everybody say "awwwwww" with me). So whenever we
played games, we paired up in like manner. Katrina traded off on teams
once she was old enough (I suppose we could have paired her with the dog) .

Our most frequent game was Hide and Go-Seek in the Dark. Always fun,
sometimes a little dangerous. Somehow always a little safer played
upstairs at the Shrams' (their house is always cleaner), we once in awhile
played at our house. One particular time, Bryan and I were searching
everywhere for Mikey. Having already found Wendy and Katrina and weary
from searching, we decided to rest, so we all went into my room and sat
down on the bed, thinking, discussing, trying to figure out where on earth
Mikey could have gone, where hadn't we looked. As we sat pondering the
extreme hiding abilities of Mikey, the mattress suddenly jerked a little.
The four of us sitting on the bed looked at each other, "what the...?" It
moved again. We jumped off to see what on earth was going on. Much to our
surprise, Mikey wriggled out from under the mattress. The poor boy had
been hiding there the entire time; he had been not only under our noses,
but under us! (and we were not a light load).

(Original Post)



A General Story

As anyone would know from reading previous stories, Wendy and I had lots of
fun games that we played growing up. One of my favorites drove our mother
extra-nuts. Wendy and I would clear off the floor in the living room,
probably by putting everything on a chair. Then we would put on one of our
favorite cassette tapes, Queen for We Will Rock You or the Beatles
for Back in the USSR and we would begin our Spinnathon!

Yeah, the name pretty much gives it away. We would spin, as long as we
could, and the last one left standing won. Sometimes it was a as simple as
that, sheer stamina and the ability to stay upright. Sometimes we allowed
"Dorothy". "Dorothy" meant a break taken by throwing oneself onto the
couch. As all good spinners know, just because you stop spinning doesn't
mean the room stops too. Lying on the couch, the room still felt to spin
around us and it reminded us of the house spinning in the tornado on the
Wizard of Oz, hence "Dorothy".

But sometimes we made it more of a challenge; sometimes you could bump into
people. (Hey, sometimes it was people, we roped our friends into this
debauchery too.) The bumping wasn't meant to be mean or to hurt or to
include slapping or anything...but hey, it's not my fault my arms flew out
from my body, that's centripetal force - it just happened to cause my hands
to wind up at the same level as Wendy's face. You can see why Mommy didn't
like that too much!

One of our most extreme Spinnathons ever actually happened after we moved.
The Schrams were visiting, old family friends of our parents. Mikey and
Bryan joined us for a Spinnathon that lasted well over an hour and a half!
Talk about Dizzy!

(Original Post)


Tuesday, December 16, 2003


I fear Emily is right, I won't be able to share the best stories.... if they were mine, I'd do it - but alas, my life is not that exciting.

We must settle for a slightly amusing Emily Story.
Sitting at lunch, Emily and I were involved in our general conversations. Probably of the kind few else would understand, about Job and milkshakes and numbers less than 5 and that sort of silliness. Suddenly Emily made one of those faces only she can do, where her nose squishes up a little, her eyes get real wide and her upper lip quivers as her jaw drops open, 'I don't know where I parked' she suddenly exclaimed out of nowhere. 'Do you know what lot it's in?' 'No! I have no idea where I put it.' .... I don't know where her car was that day, or how long it took her to find it...I can only assume she eventually did as she returned home later that evening and I doubt it was by foot.

(Original Post)


Friday, December 12, 2003

A New Category

I have decided we are in need of a new category, Emily Stories Hee hee

We'll start nice and light, most of these, I'm sure will be excerpts of conversations.

Me: The blue truck is still here, that's odd.
Emily: Yeah, I know, I saw it when I was living.

Now, one would think perhaps she meant leaving, they sound kinda the same - but noooo....

Me: are you dead?
Emily: Oops, I meant walking

(probably the worst part is that this conversation was on aim - where she had to type it, and thus, one would expect, think about it a little more!)

(Original Post)


It's Like that Science Experiment...

Ok, ok, so I wasn't little, this was last week - but it's way cute. A Dinner Story another testament to Katrina's cuteness.

Daddy bought special bread so Mommy made pasta for dinner. The bread was slab shaped, about the size of a cookie sheet, cheese and garlic - way yummy! One half of it was left and I wanted the cheesiest part. So I cut a piece out from the middle of the edge leaving a [ shape on the cookie tray. I, me - the college student, said, "look, it's a c!"
Katrina, the 15 year-old said: No, it's like that experiment they did to find out that the atoms had a nucleus. The thing was shaped like that and it shot particles at a sheet of metal over here (pointing to the otherside of the cookie sheet) and most of them went right through like they were supposed to, but some of them didn't and they bounced off at weird angles so they knew something was inside the atoms.

She's not a Schultz or anything.

(Original Post)


Thursday, December 11, 2003

Katrina's 500 Word Esssay

I am so proud of my little sister, and this is soooo funny! Here it is folks: Katrina's essay on talking
The reason I was talking during the announcements was that I was telling Lindsey where her cough drop had gone, it went under the heater. Leah had tossed the cough drop behind her for Lindsey when she had asked for one earlier before the bell rung. It bounced off Lindsey's head and slid under the heater. I thought that they wouldn't know where it had gone so I pointed and told Lindsey so she could get it. I am sincerely sorry that I found it important to tell her where it had gone so she did not have to look all over the place.

I also did not want a mouse to find it, because you know if you give a mouse a cough drop in the English room, he's going to want a tissue. And if you give him a tissue, it's going to remind him of his soft bed. Once he gets in his bed, he is going to want another pillow to stop his nose from getting stuffy. When he gets his pillow, he's going to sleep and get better. Then when he wakes up and he is all better, he is going to find a nice little girl mouse. And then, they reproduce. All his little children are going to get a cough. Once they get the cough, they are going to go all over the school looking for cough drops. Then, when they find the cough drops… well, you know what comes next.

Now, people these days think that they are covering their mouths, but the germs are still getting on things. Then more people get the germs and pass them on to others. Before you know it, there is another flu epidemic. That could get you sick, and that would be just horrid. We could end up with one of those substitute teachers that did not teach us anything. That would be a waste of our intellect. If you would not be there to teach us then we would not learn that you could not say "depitterized". Cause that is not correct English. Neither is "cause" for that matter.

Any who, back on the topic of talking, one definition of talk from The American Heritage Dictionary of The English Language, is 'to converse by means of spoken language." Therefore, I guess I was talking but not too loud as to disturb the other students around me. So now I know the importance of not talking during the announcements even though we get them second hour. Though they are there for the people who didn't listen to them in second hour and for the people who were not here at that point in time.

I know the definition of talk but I do not know the definition of silence. This is one definition from the same dictionary, "A period of time without speech or noise." I picked this definition because it seemed to fit most perfectly with the silence we are supposed to observe. This means, from the same dictionary, "To adhere to or abide by."

Katrina Schultz

(Original Post)