Always Watching

Yes my friends, I am back. A Vacation Story. In order for this one to make sense, you must be familiar with the vampiring vampire story.

Last month our family took what may have been our last summer vacation all together. A lovely little jaunt through the corn fields of Iowa and Nebraska, we enjoyed all sorts of the usual, old houses of people who were almost famous, presidential spots, museums, zoos, etc. But, the most fun was had just sitting around, in the car and of course at meals. As many of my friends have said, "a meal with the Schultz's is never boring".

Wendy and I, involved in a good old-fashioned spat, were arguing over or discussing something, I don't remember what. Responding to some comment she made that perturbed me, I raised my right hand up, back of the hand facing her, index and middle finger split apart in a backward peace sign, "up your kilt" sort of gesture. "It's a 'v' for vampire" I glared at her. "Oh yeah," she raised her hand in like manner, but with her fingers closed. "It's a 'u' for umpire," she retorted. "Just wait," I declared, knowing fair well I could not give her the correct following gesture in front of the family, "Mommy isn't always watching." Katrina piped in, "but Santa is!"

Creative

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No, He's Lutheran

Since I am on a role, here is another Great Quotes story.

Last week, sitting in the band room at the highschool, I heard Wendy talking to her friends about her ex-boyfriend and their incompatibility. (For those who don't know, she is a geology major at University of Nebraska - Lincoln, studying to be a paleontologist.) She was giving an example, "he thinks the dinosaurs died in Noah's flood." One of her friends asked, "oh, is he... slow?" "No," she paused, thinking of how best to put it, "he's Lutheran."

Rolling With Laughter

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The Infamous Chicken Dinner Story

In honor of my parents' 24th wedding anniversary, a story that shows us how much they still love each other, maybe even a little too much.... A Great Quotes story.

It was a regular family dinner, senior year of highschool. We all sat around the table, Mommy, Daddy, Wendy, Katrina - who was 11ish, Suse and me. Daddy, as usual had made dinner, chicken breasts w/ some sort of side dishes. Mommy was sitting at the end of the table just poking her chicken with her fork. Daddy says to her, "What's wrong, why aren't you eating? I worked really hard to make this nice chicken dinner for you and you're not eating!" Mommy, resting her fork on her table, replied, "I'm too tired to eat, I want something I can just stick in my mouth." To which Daddy responded, "I'll give you something to stick in your mouth."!
Suse's jaw dropped to the table, I got up and left the room, my appetite suddenly gone, Mommy yelled, "Tim" and smacked his arm, Katrina said, "I don't get it".

Uncomfortable

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Do You Have Any 15s?

She's back!!! After a few months running around like a chicken with my head cut off, I have returned to update some stories. Thank you to my fans who made known their disappointment at the sorry state of my updating.

In honor of the 4th of July holiday, I present to you a Great Quotes story.

Normally, on great fireworks holidays such as the 4th of July and Waterfrolicks, we go to the display as a family, toting along fresh popped popcorn, a frisbee, a deck of cards, 2 lawn chairs and a blanket. We pick out a nice spot, set-up, and begin amusing ourselves until it's time for the fireworks. One year, when Katrina was about 5 or 6, I sat down with her on the blanket and took out the deck of cards. "Do you want to play Go-Fish?" I asked. "No," she replied, "I don't know how. Can we play cribbage?" !!!!

Confused

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The Not-So-Little Vampire

A Vampire Story

As you know from reading "The Little Vampire", Katrina's vampire-ish exploits did not end when she got a little older - in fact, they increased! Here is a list of things she did at the height of her vampire craze:
-Answered the door and then jumped on the person there, trying to bite their neck (my friends in high school found this just a tad strange)
-Wore her blankey as a cape (but only occasionally)
-Tried to bite me, Wendy and Mommy (still does sometimes)
-Designed clothes in a "vampire and witches" fashion line
And the best of all:
-Made her bed, then slept with her feet at the head and her head at the foot so she was upside-down like a bat, because vampire's turn into bats!
I love you, Katrina! :*

Amused

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