Dinner as Usual

A Dinner Story
We went out to dinner tonight, the whole family. Here are some random pieces of conversation:

Wendy: God,....
Me: Job. Oops! I mean goodness

Mommy: Did you see that when you were living?
(Yes Emily, even when you aren't around we can pick on you)

Katrina: (singing) I put my teeth back in, I have teeth again (notices we are all staring at her), I'm done.

Me: Put the hat over your face, put it right back in place
W: Tilt the hat foreword
K: Tilt the hat back
Me, K & W: Move the hat up and down up down up and down, now you're set to go to town
Me: A looking good
M: a 2, 3 4

W: My friend, Lis's mother is goddess of the universe and when she retires Lis will be the goddess. So Nathan asked to be ruler of the world and she said ok. But, he wants to kill the Texans and the French. So Melissa and I convinced them that she gets Venus and we get to move all the Texans and French there. And he hates pro-football players so I get them on Mars.
Me: Wait, wait, when do you get Mars, what are you going to do there?
Daddy: She'll be the first paleontologist on Mars
W: Yeah, i'm gonna do my expeditions there. I don't really get it, I'm just the guardian.
Me: What pro-football players going to do on Mars?
W: (quite serious and as though I asked a stupid question) Play football on Sundays
Me: (exasperated)Of course!
M: Duh
K: But the days are different because Mars is closer to the sun

Again singing the hat song,
Me: Wave the hat up high, trade it with the next guy
Mommy took Katrina's visor and put it on her head and proceeded to follow the directions
Me: Put the hat over your face, put it right back in place,.......wave the hat up high, trade it with the next guy
Mommy put hat on my head, I put it back on Mommy's, Mommy put it on Katrina's
Daddy: Wait, put that back on it makes you look sexy like your glasses do
K: (freaking out) Ewwww, ewwww, my hat, my hat
Me: Yeah, well it's our shower! (strange looks from everyone) Nevermind

W: You have to help me take Nathan to Leon's, I don't care if we have to bind and gag him
Me: Can we tie him to the roof of the car?
W: No
Me: Like a Christmas Tree, and paint him green (weird look from mom) If we paint him green it will be less conspicuous cuz he'll look like a tree

Me: (Wendy forgot to ask for her meal w/o mushrooms) That's just like how Kathleen always forgets to ask for no tomato on her salad
D: Tomatos are good for you
Me: No they're poisonous. Gram, watch out a poiiiiisonous fruit!

W: Nathan doesn't like Chip's Challenge
Me: How can he not like Chip's Challenge?
K: That's it, he can't be a member of this family

W: I'm only part vampire
Me: Since when are you part vampire?
W: I tell Nathan I'm part vampire everytime I bite his neck
Me: I'm closing my ears
K: I'm the only full-vampire, and Mommy's half vampire so then if Mommy and Wendy are half-vampires, and I'm full...(she stopped)

"Room temperature Wooley Mammoth"
"I'm done"

And to top it all off, a list of all the people mentioned during dinner (I think):
Nathan, Melissa, Lis, Justin, Mike, Joel, Dan, The Trusses, Pat, Kathleen, Emily, Santa, Oprah, Bush, Clinton, Sadam, Joan of Arcadia, Mrs. Lewin, Amanda, Whoopi Goldberg,....

(Original Post)

Chipper