How to Not be Graceful in Twenty Dollar Shoes

My ankles are still throbbing, my knees still burn, as I sit in abject humiliation on the BART train.  Torn stockings for everyone to see.  Holes in the knees, a run up to the thigh, gashes across the ankle.  When other people fall, they can get up and brush themselves off.  When I fall, my scarred clothing betrays my folly.  I cannot hide the evidence that I totally just scrubbed.

Up until about five minutes ago, I thought I looked great today.  Grey suit, taken in by moi last night so that it actually fits well, black dress shirt, black stockings with seams up the back, fabulously long hair, stunna shades and those sexy, yet sophisticated, black patent mary-janes with 4" heels .

Then, those sexy, but sophisticated, black patent mary-janes with the 4" heels broke, and I fell down the stairs.  The hard rock stairs with rough tread on them, so people don't slip.  That outfit that was perfect for struttin', is absolutely horrible for stumbling.  Stunna shades inside, high heels on stairs, and it certainly didn't help I was on my cell phone.  Might as well have had a sign that read "laugh at me, please!"

The guy behind me tried to catch me, and then helped me up.  It was very nice of him.  But the only thing that really made the torn stockings, broken shoes, and burning pain any better, was the genuine concern in my friend's voice when I found my phone and apologized for disappearing, explaining I had fallen down the stairs.  Somehow, that really made me less concerned with anyone else around me, or with my destroyed clothing.

I rushed onto my waiting train, grabbed the first seat, and began inspecting.  Both straps broke on my left shoe.  I love these shoes. I taped a completely different part of them together this morning with electrical tape so I could wear them.  Luckily for me, one strap broke off on the inside and one broke off with the buckle on the outside.  I just tied the straps together like shoe strings.  At least it the shoe will stay on my foot.  When I get home, I think I'll need some good soapy water and a lot of bandaids.  Good thing I drove to the BART station today!  Ouch!